A MAN TO HATE

chapter thirty five

Jungkook

I sit in the bed in our hotel room, it's just me now since Bellatia left to spend the night with her friends, so she can get ready for the wedding far away from me

I know my friends are in the hotel bar right now, drinking

They are partying in my name yet I'm not a part of the party

I'm just not in the mood

I'm still overwhelmed by everything that happened earlier and the moment I realized that I was in love with Bellatia

Jimin and Taehyung were right all this time, I was just in denial

I love this woman and it makes me sick

I never planned to fall in love with her

I hate this fucking feeling, I hate that...

This union shouldn't be about love

And even when there would be feelings later, I would prefer that both of us love each other

Not only me being in this shit by myself, loving a woman who can't even fully trust me yet

Losing Zhao destroyed me cause I loved her

And...I fear that I could just die if I ever lose Bellatia

But losing her, is still a warning dancing above my head after the things I did to her brother

I grab my phone to call my security chef, Lohan

" Boss? " He replies as soon as the phone rings

" How is Warren? " I ask

" He is still under control "

" Did he agree to say where is the video? "

" No Sir, not yet "

I sigh heavily

" Fine, it's okay... I'll take of him once I come back
Make sure he is safe, don't harm him either, I know how annoyed he can be, be diligent "

I know Lohan is probably surprised right now, cause it's my first time acting like that for Warren

Usually I would order to beat him until he succumbs

But for Bellatia...

Only for Bellatia,

I'm trying to become a better man.

" Message received Sir " replies Lohan

I hung up but I keep the phone in my hand, staring at the screen until it shuts down by itself

I really need to take care of Warren's situation in order to tell Bellatia the truth

Cause I can't lose her

I don't want the past to torn us apart

I don't want the past between us anymore

I don't care if she doesn't love me back , as long as she is by my side, I'm fine

I drop myself on the bed, facing the ceiling

I'm really fucked up...

How did this even happen to me?

I mean... Bellatia is stunning, she's...she is just perfect

But still...

How?

How did I love her?

The brutal knocks at my door pulls me out from my intensive thinking

" Come on! It's your last night as a motherfucker, let's party " I hear the voice of my friends saying