My Teen Living | tøp

Stop Killing Yourself

Jenna's POV

I'm not okay.

"Jenna?" Debby turned to me.

"Huh?" I said closing my thoughts and putting my attention full on to her.

"You haven't told anyone about.. the stuff I did right?" She whispered to me.

I didnt. I wish I did though.

"I forgot about it," I haven't. I've been reminded about it all the time everytime I see you.

"Okay good because-"

"I don't want you to do that anymore," I cut her off, I didn't care what she had to say.

"I know you don't I just can't help myself," she looked down.

"Why do you want to do that to yourself? How could you do anything to yourself?" I looked at her.

"Why- what do you mean?" She stuttered, trying to find the right words.

"Your so perfect, you have such pretty healthy hair, your face features are so prefect on you, you have a good body you don't need to change it just because you think it's bad," I breathed, "I've always admired you, I've always wanted to be like you."

"Jenna I'm sorry," she said looking at me.

"And here you go apologizing, your so nice to me and to yourself, your such a sweet person and a sweet soul. I wanted that, I wanted to be just the amazing perfect person you are"

"I'm not perfect," she assured me.

"You aren't," I admitted, "but you would be if you stopped killing yourself,"

She stayed quiet.

"We're gonna kill our selves anyway," she turned away from me.

"I grew pretty attached to you like a dog on a leash, you are everything I've always dreamed of and more than I can ever be,"

"What is the point of this conversation?" She muttered.

"I wish you knew that you are so special and amazing that it hurts to see that you don't see yourself that way that you have to hurt yourself,"

"I-" she started to say.

"I wish we could be normal, no worries in the world, I wish we could be us," I said.

"I know," she sighed

"Hey you guys," Tyler came up to us. We were at a bridge to dunk our phones in the river.

"Are you guys ready?" Josh looked at us.

"Yes!" Debby smiled like the conversation we had never happened.

"Wait," I stopped them, I got out my phone and held it to take a photo of us all together.

*Snap!*

The camera took a group photo of all of us together for one last memory of us to forever be stored.

We took off our password and deleted all of our apps except for the ones that come with the phone.

"Okay.. are you guys ready," I looked my phone.

"Yeah," Tyler sighed.

We all hung our phone down together above the water under the bridge.

"1..2..3!" We said together.

We watched as all four of our phones dropped and splashed in the water below us.

None of them seem too faced about it, though they didn't say anything as they saw their phone that once brought laughter and sadness and comfortness to them and drop to the water

It was Tyler's idea. He said that we should appreciate the world more and that we don't need phones as much as people say we do, it's better to sit in silence than to worry about so many things that shouldn't have  been worried about in the first place.

I thought Tyler was very smart. He had a very wise knowledge at his age, he knew what he was saying, and what he was doing. I could trust him even if it seems like a stupid idea. I'm pretty sure he knows what he's doing.

"Hey, when are we gonna do the stuff you know?" Debby asked all of us.

"When we're done with everything," Tyler said.

"When are we done with everything?" I asked.

"We will know when the time comes,"

"Let's meet at the poppy mountains on Sunday at 1 pm, okay?" Josh said.

"Alright," I heard Debby say.

I don't think this is making sense. Do I want to die? I mean I have no purpose in continuing on. I have no meaning to. Though life is full of meaning and nature around it, I don't know. I don't know if I want to go just yet.