My Teen Living | tøp

Schizo Schizo

Josh's POV:

*Buzz Buzz*

I looked at my phone and saw Tyler messaging me.

-"where r u?"

I sighed and replied.

"I have a fever 🤒"-

I turned off my phone and groaned. I didn't actually have a fever, I just didn't want to go to school today. My mom allowed it as she believes that kids deserves a 'mental health day'. But also because my teacher told me about schizophrenia.

*Flashback*

"Black holes are these- this big matter, that is so tightly together that its gravity-"

My astronomer teacher was talking about black holes and the recent studies about them. I have two electives, astrology and teen living. Now it's most normal for normal high school students to have only one elective. My parents signed me up for teen living.

I didn't understand why I didn't understand what their concern was about me. I felt like I was pretty normal. I felt like my daily life was all normal.

"Excuse me, can I borrow Joshua Dun?"

I felt head turns and eyes piercing through my soul. I sat kind of in the back so mostly a lot of people were looking at me turning their backs and there were two more rows behind my desk and I could tell the students there were staring at me. It felt a weird bug crawling sensation down my back as I thought that.

My eyes twitched at the thought of them still looking at me if I would stand up, but I waited until my teacher said something.

I looked up to see my Teen Living teacher standing at the doorway. My teacher nodded and told me to bring my stuff and follow him. I stood up and walked towards the door and still felt all over those eyes all over me. My eyes twitched. I felt like I was going to throw up all over everywhere. I did what I was instructed to do and left.

"What is this about?" I asked my teen living teacher.

"Well, it's the beginning of September and as everyone knows I give people their paper of what they might have, and I just finished with yours first so that's why I pulled you out earlier than when your supposed to get it,"

"Oh," I thought for what I could possibly have, "okay,"

We walked into his class that already had kids in it. Once again feeling something is crawling under my skin and not being able to pick it out.

Mr. Meany sat on his desk and opened his laptop so I could see what was writing about.

All I could think about is what I could have. Mr. Meany used to be a psychiatrist but moved over to this school and created Teen Living to make it more easier for kids.

I thought of all the mental issues I could think of. Depression? I don't feel sad or drained like that. Could I be bipolar? Mm I don't even know what that means. What if it's-

"Schizophrenia," he answered my thoughts.

"What do you mean?"

He pointed at the laptop screen.

"Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that's characterized by reoccurring episodes of psychosis that are correlated with a general misperception of reality,"

"I'm schizophrenic?" I muttered to myself.

*End of flashback*

"I mean, I really liked you, okay. I defended you when people called you conceited, I helped you when you asked me to, I learned French for you and then you just blow me off so you could-"

I sat in my living room watching '10 Things I Hate About You' eating plain chips. I know I said I didn't wanna go to school, but I felt so bored and I had nothing to do. School is draining for me and I hate it but every time when I'm home alone, I hate it too. I can never pick a decision of whether I like school or not.

I turned off the TV because I felt like nothing was interesting to me right now. I went back upstairs to my room and close the door behind me and studied the paintings I put and made myself.

I like painting a lot. It was a form to escape from reality. So it explains why my walls of my room has a lot of canvases on them. I really enjoyed surrealism. The paintings on my wall, kind of freaked me out though but I just shrugged it off.

I sat down on my bed and began to doze off.

I open my eyes. Am I dreaming right now?

I sat off the floor and found the breath I was searching for. I saw three men up front. I didn't see their faces. All I saw were backs of heads.

I looked down at my palms when I looked back at them I asked them am I alive or am I dreaming or am I dead.

The middle one turned around to say that they're driving towards the morning sun where all my blood is washed away, and all my did will be undone.

The other whispered to not be afraid.

I woke up and sat up from my bed catching my breathe.

"All a dream,"

I didn't think that.

What?

Never mind.

I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. My curls were growing out and my bags under my eyes still stayed the same. My pj pants and my favorite band hoodie. I looked at the time.

1:43

Tyler was in his yearbook elective class. Debby was in P.E with Jenna.

I went to my phone and texted the group chat

  "Lets hang out today,"-

-"I thought you had a fever"- tyler

"Feeling better"-

"Josh! Come downstairs for lunch please," my mom yelled.

"Okay!" I yelled back and went downstairs.

I felt a two buzzes on my phone.

-"me and Jenna can come but your picking us up after school" -debby

I grinned at Debby's message and turned off my phone putting it back in my pocket.