My Teen Living | tøp

Gone

Josh's POV

I run out of my home ignoring my dad asking me where I was off too. I ran and ran and I couldn't stop. I knew where Jenna was and I could almost hear her cries.

It was dark out and I heard crickets chirping and the sound of small rain drops falling onto the sidewalk.

I started crying and I couldn't stop. I always had that ugly cry but I didn't care. I cried and cried.

"Josh!" Jenna yelled my name and she saw me.

I saw her and ran to her as fast as I could reaching her and reaching to Tyler.

"Oh..oh..oh no no..." I whispered letting my tears hit his face.

I couldn't help but remember when we first met. Our first laugh. Our first hang out. Our first time we became friends. He had this special aura. He made me feel safe. I was safe with him but now he's gone. He's gone.

"Oh no.. Tyler it's okay.." I held his limp body as I reached for my phone and dialed 911.

"It's okay Tyler... don't worry... your going to be fine...everything will be okay.." I sobbed on his shoulder holding onto him.

"He's- how long has he been here.?" I asked Jenna.

"I-I just found his backpack in the water- I saw him.." she choked on her words crying her eyes out.

"No-no no no.." I held onto him not letting go. Jenna was beside me hugging his backpack.

It came to me that he was still in his clothes from today. I remember calling him last period asking if he was coming back. He said no. I told him I love him. He cut me off and hung up.

I could've changed his mind. I could've saved him. I could've changed something to make him know that he should've kept going on. I could've said something that would make him wait. It wasn't time yet. I miss him I miss my boy. My sweet boy.

"Josh Josh look at this.." Jenna sniffed and showed me a piece of water paper that was in Tyler's backpack.

- people look so different once you don't care about them anymore. you begin to see how ordinary they look and how the love you've had for them made it look like they were special. under all this attitude i have within myself, i just want to be understood. do you promise to stick around? i cannot make you understand i can't make anyone understand i can't even explain it to myself. its eating me up inside. i have the worst horrible miserable feeling inside of me and i just want to reach and grab it and put it in other people. im sorry to whoever finds me. im sorry to whoever loved me. in my eyes im nothing. im  sorry that i can't change that perspective. in my eyes i have nothing left to live for. and that can't change because i am me. i am me you are you. live on and live your truth. im sorry for leaving you. stay alive. for me.

By the end I finished reading his note I heard sirens and red and blue flashing lights come into play. The noise eked me. It disturbed me. I looked up to see an ambulance coming down towards us.

Everything seemed like a blur to me. Everything was like a blur to me.

They took his body away from my hands and softly push me off. They put him on a stretcher and putting him in the ambulance and driving off.

Everything seemed like a blur to me. I couldn't comprehend anything my friend just died, and I held his dead body in my arms and they're taking him away, just to make sure just to pronounce him as dead.

That's my friend.

The officers held Jenna and then me up. They slowly helped us walked and comforted Jenna as she kept crying. The tears slowly stopped coming out of my eyes. I just realized what had happened.

We sat in the back seat and it stayed silent. I saw the officers face seeing he was disappointed with what had happened to us. I saw him following a red light.

I was in shock. I didn't understand what happened. I felt Jenna's head rest on my shoulder as she let out soft cries making my shirt wet but I didn't care. I looked out the window and saw the drizzle slowly becoming rain.

Somewhere in the world at this exact same time. Someone died. Someone drowned themselves leaving their shoes on the ledge. Someone's friend died. Someone found their friend in a river. We're one in every people.

I would watch the sunset with him on the empty swing sets talking about whatever came to mind. It felt weird to me. It all hit me so hard. My dead friend. Is that what he's labeled as now? My friend that committed suicide. He's gone. He's so far yet so close.

We got to the hospital and I saw them doing everything they could to push everyone about out of the way to bring him to where he needed to be. Seeing his dead body. The lights of the hospital flickered as he disappeared in the halls.

It ate me up inside. I didn't know what to do. What to say. He was part of our group. And now he's gone.