Fragments of Us

39: Ella

It's been days since we went home, but I saw that Mafe's mood still hasn't shifted. She seemed mad about something.

"I know that face."

I said this as I was fixing our things. Good thing I was wearing my favorite shirt. It's the one Mafe changed for me after they rescued me. Yellow hang loose shirt.

"My sister was here."

Mafe answered while still looking into nothingness.

"Wait. You have a sister?"

I immediately stopped what I was doing and faced her. She just nodded at me.

"Where is she now?"

I curiously asked.

"Gone. Again."

I let out a heavy sigh and stood up.

"Because that's the only thing she's good at. Leaving. Leaving us. Leaving me."

She's not mad. She's hurt.

"How did I not know about her, then?"

I scratched my head, trying not to sound so serious.

"Because I didn't want to talk about her then."

She placed both her hands on her waist and just stared at me.

"And my room?"

I asked again.

"Once belonged to her."

Oh no, it looks like her sister pulled the shit out of her.

"Uhm, baby? Will you be able to handle things in here for now? I know my timing seems off, but I really need to go back to Manila."

It sounded like I was begging for her approval. God, this girl.

"Of course, Ate. I haven't thanked you enough for everything you've done for us."

She smiled at me, which was literally a relief.

"Come on, don't say that. You're my family, Mafs."

I sat beside her at the edge of the bed.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise."

"You don't have to, you know. I mean, you no longer have to promise because I trust that you will."

She stood up, digging something from her backpack.

"But before that, may I have your wallet?"

For a moment, I was confused, but anyhow, I handed her my wallet.

She pulled a piece of paper from her backpack that she placed in my wallet.

"There."

I saw a light glisten in her eyes for the first time in days. When I got my wallet back, I saw a polaroid picture of the three of us, which made me teary.

"You're making this hard for me."

I broke down in tears.

"I am not. Take it as a reminder that you have a home to go back to."

I flew back to Manila before the day ended. Only that, I can't find Jema. Her things were still at my house, yes, but it looks like it's been empty for a couple of days.

"Fuck, where am I going to start looking for her?"

My thoughts were already racing. What if I was already too late? How am I going to live with the fact that I didn't get to say I loved her for the rest of my life?