Unbreak My Heart

30. She's Mine

My heart felt lighter since my meeting with my father, the void he had left wasn't filled, but it didn't hurt. I knew that it wouldn't be full from just forgiving him, I had to completely let go of the past and work on myself. 

The trust issues weren't going to disappear in one day or three weeks, I still had to work on them, but that didn't mean I should stop living while fixing myself. I was a work in progress.

I have loved Jacob for a while now, though I ran away and kept him at an arms length because of pain inflicted by others, and not him. It wasn't fair that I painted him with the same brush, yet he hasn't given me a reason to. Even when I found him in the bathroom with Emily my heart knew that nothing had happened between them, but my mind took that as a reason to end whatever was transpiring between us. 

All that was left was for me to tell the man in question how I feel and apologize, but I was scared he would reject me as I rejected him. What if he got tired of me and decided to move on? One thing I knew was that if he has moved on, I would forever regret letting him slip between my fingers.

"You should receive emails concerning your internship before the end of today, but do remember that you need to pass so you could proceed." Chef instructor Alice said dismissing class.

"Where do you think you've been placed?" Soph asked as we walked home.

Months ago I was certain about my internship placement after Beth, the manager at Mia Margherita assured me they would give me an internship if I worked hard. But, after I resigned and with the way things are between Jake and I, I doubted they offered me a placement there.

"I really don't know, but anyway will be fine I guess," I shrugged my shoulders.

"Do you think Chef Jake would evoke your placement at his restaurant?" 

"It wasn't guaranteed, so I doubt I will be placed there," I replied.

Jake hadn't tried to call me after our moment at the club and I honestly don't blame him. All I have done was cause him headache and left him in the dark about how I felt for him, even when he confessed his feelings to me. 

Later when we arrived home, I received an email about my internship placement. I couldn't believe this, after everything I've done Jake kept his word. I honestly don't deserve his man's generosity and kindness. 

"They kept their word, Jake's restaurant offered me an internship."

"That's great news! I'm so happy for you," Sophie congratulated me with a hug.

But, how did I go back there and continue working with him like nothing happened? It was going to be so awkward working with my former colleagues, especially after my outburst. Argh! Me and my big mouth.

"I should go and talk to Jake, try to smooth things over. We can't work together with so much uncertainty between us," I said, rushing to my room to freshen up.

An hour later I stood in front of my full length mirror, admiring my outfit. I was wearing a white short summer dress, with a blue demin jacket and white sneakers, my black hair released from the bun it had been in earlier. I sprayed some perfume and left my room with my phone and keys in my hand.