Unspoken Words

Quotes of Love

"I love you"

You took these simple words for granted. You didn't understand the weight that these words that floated out of my mouth had. I wouldn't have said these simple, simple words if my heart didn't equally feel the same way. I wouldn't have even bothered to show my everything to you if I didn't truly love you. Yet, you took these words that were backed by my heart and repeated them as if they were nothing. Did you ever love me as I loved you? Did you ever...

"I love making you laugh"

You say you love seeing me and making me laugh yet now all I can do is cry when I see you. I cannot stand the thought of being around you and not being able to touch you and hug you. Even now as I write this, I can still feel your sweet kisses on my lips and calloused hands against my waist. I can still feel your soft black hair against my hand and your soft tears against my finger as I wiped them away. I can still hear your gut-wrenching laugh as you laughed at yourself and your soft snores as you laid next to me. You say you still love making me laugh, yet now I feel only heartbreak as I stare at you from a distance pining after you.

"You frustrate me"

When you first said this, I brushed it off. I thought you must just be having a bad day or maybe I was being too irritating toward you. See, I thought a lot about myself and my actions when I was with you. I look back and think, I don't think I ever truly was myself when I was with you. I always hesitated especially toward the end. I never knew what you were thinking, so I could never judge my actions or my words. I just went along with you, trying to adapt to you. Now, I don't ever want to live like that. In a constant pause, holding my breath, hoping everything goes right. I see how shitty that was. If only I had noticed before.

"I've noticed I don't like you as much as I once did"

Ha, this quote is the most devasting one out of all of them. It utterly broke me. That night as I held onto you as we talked. How could you say this to me? I gave everything to you. I even said you were my first true boyfriend, yet you ripped my heart out in that one instant. After, I wondered if you ever truly loved me as much as I loved you. I wondered where we had lost our spark, or where you had lost it. Even now, I hover around you stuck in your orbit wondering what I did wrong. On the other hand, though, I get angry thinking I did everything right. I was never wrong. This frustration eats me from the inside as I can't help but think of you. Why can't I get over you, you bastard?

"I think we should call it off"

This one was by me. I regret it, but I know deep down I can't force you to love me. I can't force you to do anything really. As I was on the verge of tears, I said this. I knew you weren't going to man up and say it yourself. I mean you had just said you didn't feel the same way toward me, yet I was the one to call it off. I wonder now if you would have manned up and said something or would have continued to date me. It's funny, the more I look back the more I see I put so much effort into this relationship and you were never there. You were never in love with me. My heart hurts just thinking about it, yet I can't prove it. That is what hurts the most. I don't really know how you felt at all. I can only base you off your words and your actions, which were never the best, but that doesn't prove anything. Nothing is fact, which hurts. It hurts.

"I'm Sorry"

As we went our separate ways you kept saying sorry. You had always said this especially when I was cold and being a bitch to you. You would always be the one to apologize first. I wish I had been a better girlfriend to you. I wish I had apologized for failing you. I mean I wasn't the one that lost hope in you. You lost hope in me, which can only mean I did something wrong. Right? Haha, I don't know. All I know is you were so sorry for breaking it off with me. Was that a lie or were you truly sorry? If you were truly sorry you would have fought harder not giving me all the work to do in the relationship. You would have been the bigger man, not I. You would have been the one begging to see me, not I. You would have been the one holding my waist tightly, not I. You would have been the one leaning in to kiss me, not I. You put me through so much, yet I defended you at every turn and even now I defend you as if you are the greatest person around. I always said, "I love him because he is so nice". I held you up on a pedestal, yet all you did was disappoint me. I tell myself now, "oh, it's because I was his first girlfriend. He was oblivious because he didn't know any better." Why do I do this? Why do I feel like I have to defend you at every turn? Why do I feel like, after everything you put me through, I still have to be by your side? Am I crazy? Maybe.