3rd person P.O.V.
"I'm sorry, okay, please don't leave like this,'' Carmilla utters as she pulls Jane back gently, desperate for what she's done to be forgiven. Jane turns to face the pleading Carmilla as she places her palm on Jane's cheeks, cupping them. Carmilla lets a tear drop down her face, tightening her grip as her brows furrow, speaking all the unspoken pleas. "I love you" for the first time, Carmilla didn't lie, or at least she didn't think she was.
Jane looks at the vulnerable Carmilla, in shock at her words. "Carmilla, don't say that," Jane whispered with a crack in her voice, her face still encased in Carmilla's palm. It felt so good to hear those words but she knows it's different when it's from Carmilla. She can't love, or rather, she doesn't know how to love. Not after what she's just done. Not after everything that she's ever done in her life.
"But I do, I love you" she argues in a whisper, urging Jane to believe her. She has nothing to lose at this point and Jane knows that.
"You don't know what love is," Jane rebukes in frustration. A lump in Carmilla's throat forms at those words. No words have ever hurt like those. She loves Jane, and only Jane. No one has ever made her feel the way Jane does, that is why she did this. Carmilla can't have anyone else near Jane. And that was love to her, she knew it. She loved Jane.
"Don't say that! Yes I do, I love you, Jane" she insists, desperation in her voice. Desperate for her to believe her, just this once. Nothing else matters anymore.
"This isn't love!" Jane snaps, visible pain in her voice. Taken aback, Carmilla retreats at her words. "Love isn't knowing that if you open that door, I will leave. I'll run from you as far as I can. Because I didn't choose this. You chose this, Carmilla" Jane weeps in between words. As much as saying it hurt, it was the truth. And it felt as if the heavy weight on her shoulders was finally lifted. She loved Carmilla but Jane always knew her type of love wouldn't be mutual. Pure love, no control, no jealousy, just love. Jane was still a hostage after all. "If you loved me, you wouldn't have just tried to kill me" She finishes in a mutter.
Carmilla looks at Jane with betrayal in her eyes, in complete disbelief by Jane's words. She takes a moment to process what she said, replaying that sentence over and over. How could she be so cruel?
"But you wouldn't leave, would you?" she asks. A question she knows the answer to deep down but all she can do is wish that she's wrong. She had thought Jane loved her, was that not the case?
"I don't know, Carmilla,'' she says quietly. "Honestly, part of me thinks I would" she confesses.
A deafening silence forms around them, like this is the end, both of them standing still. Jane analyzes Carmilla as she processes her words. Frozen, not knowing how the latter will react. Carmilla looked heartbroken.
She's never felt this way before, rejected. She's never been rejected before. Come on, she was Carmilla. People like her didn't get rejected.
"Did you only say you love me so I don't kill you?" she questions in a murmur, obliterating the thick fog of uncomfortable silence. Carmilla waits for an answer but time passes and she still doesn't receive one. Jane didn't have an answer, it seemed. "Jane?" Carmilla calls, her voice cracking along with her heart.
"No, of course not" Jane exclaims softly, though her tone makes it known that she is uncertain. Uncertain if that could actually be the case. Did she instinctively say that she loved Carmilla to save herself from being killed?
Without saying another word, Jane turns her body to the door, ready to leave the room. Carmilla watches her with angry and betrayed tears flooding her cheeks.
"I really thought you changed," Jane says calmly before opening the door, her back turned to Carmilla, unable to look her in the eyes.
Carmilla's head leans back in disbelief at her words, a silent scoff leaving her lips. She did change. She is trying every day to be better, for Jane. Only for Jane.
"Your father is dead," Carmilla sputters out. Jane freezes in her tracks, a cold shiver flowing through her veins. Jane felt like her breath was taken from her, her heart in her stomach as she swallowed down the words she wanted to utter.
"Did you hear me? I killed your father" Carmilla states coldly. Carmilla needed her to be as hurt as she was, even if what she was saying wasn't true. Jane turns her head around slowly, her eyes darkening.
"You're lying" Jane rebukes in a mumble as she stands still. Carmilla wouldn't do that. She knows what would happen if she did. "I've been texting him, I spoke to him just this morning" she argues, trying to make herself believe that this isn't true.
Carmilla exhales as she treads towards the baffled Jane. "It wasn't your father, it was me all along," Carmilla confesses, her eyes forming an empty gloss. "Do you want proof?" She persists as she pulls her phone out, opening the messages and facing her phone towards Jane. "See?"
Jane gazes at the phone in front of her, the messages between her father and Jane, reflecting onto her dilated pupils. Carmilla wasn't lying, she really killed her father. The last shrink of love Jane had for Carmilla has now been buried under the sunken feeling in her heart. There are so many things Jane wishes she could say, but the clumps of steel in her throat wouldn't let her utter a single word. She's enraged, scared, grief-stricken, and resentful. And yet, nothing would come out.
"Cat got your tongue? I thought I didn't change. So why are you surprised?" she scorns with a numb smile painted across her face. The old Carmilla slowly creeps in as she tries to push it down, her tries proven to be to no avail. Jane swallows down all the pain she is feeling before she lifts her arm up to strike Carmilla, although her punch was disrupted by Carmilla's palm. "You're no different to me" Carmilla cooed with a chuckle, surprised by her attempted attack.
Jane lifts her top lip in disgust, her nose wrinkling slightly. "We are so far from the same" she insists with a scowl. There was no way they were even close to the same. Jane's words left a bad taste in Carmilla's mouth, she's never felt this much disgust from anyone before, not to this extent, not when it came to Jane. "We're done," Jane added before turning her body away and retreating to the door. Carmilla stayed still. This time, she couldn't fight back. Carmilla had just shot herself in the leg and there was no coming back.
Carmilla stood frozen for a moment once Jane left the room, a heave of fire rushing through her as she punched the wall next to her. "Why did you do that, Carmilla? Why the fuck did you do that? we could have fixed it" she scolds to herself in a mumble as she strikes the wall once again. This time, it digs a hole through. Carmilla's knuckles collide with a metal plate inside the wall, painting her fist red. "Fuck!" Carmilla cries out in frustration and pain. Her body falls to the ground in defeat, placing her bleeding hand over her face. The iron in her blood and the salt in her tears blend together as Carmilla weeps into her hand, realizing she can't fix this anymore. She's messed up. Jane is never going to love her again. They'll never be able to get back to how they were before.
A/N :
SHORT CHAPTER, BUT IT IS NOT MY FAULT BECAUSE IM EDITING THE OLDER VERSION AND THERE WASNT MUCH TO ADD LOL
I SAW SOMEONE ELSE ASK THEIR READERS WHAT THEY IMAGINE THEIR CHARACTERS TO LOOK LIKE AND IM SO CURIOUS AS TO WHAT YOU GUYS THINK, SO WHO DO YOU IMAGINE WHEN YOU READ THE CHARACTERS?
YOU ARE READING
Burn The Devil (MAFIA GXG)
Azione"You don't want me to fuck you then?" She whispers, pulling me forward as her thigh presses against my core. "I need to find someone my own age" I whisper back, biting my lip to hide the moan that's trying to escape as she grinds her thigh on me. ...
