Forbidden Desire

[33] Messed Up

𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐃𝐞 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐚

I lower myself on the grass, sitting leg-crossed across the beautiful bush of red roses. The moist grass beneath me gave off an earthy, natural smell which I loved. It was extremely calming.

These past few days have been surprisingly uneventful and somewhat, okay. It was probably because of the fact that Elliott hadn't been in the house recently. Although his lack of presence made my heart feel at ease, I still couldn't shake off the feeling that something was wrong or was about to go wrong. I brushed it off quickly, thinking I was overthinking again.

The only time I actually see him is at dinner, where his appearance turns out to be quite disheveled. He simply looked tired and stressed behind that calm façade of his. I was just glad that he didn't hurt me or tried to force me again. I don't think I will be able to go through that pain again.

A ticklish sensation spreads across my cheek, as I blinked out of my daze. I looked down and saw it was Ace, rubbing his nose against my cheek softly for attention.

"Hi, baby." I quietly murmured, a smile pulling my lips upwards. My hand acted on it's own as it caressed the dog's head. He leaned into my touch, whining. His presence was something that I was starting to love a lot, instead of fearing. He might look scary but inside, he is like a cute little puppy.

"Are you hungry?" Ace stared at me silently, barking after I finished talking. Although I knew he didn't understand a thing I said, I still took his response as a yes and laughed lightly. I probably looked crazy while talking to him like this.

"Let's go and get you some food, Acey." I whispered, picking him up in my arms before walking out of the garden. He was really heavy but I still loved carrying him.

Ace didn't fight and put his paws around my arms, resting his head on my shoulder. I smiled at his adorable actions and closed the door to the garden behind me.

Yesterday, Elliott finally gave me permission to roam around the mansion. He said that I was getting too quiet recently and that he was concerned for my mental health. I almost scoffed at his words since he was the reason behind my deteriorating mental state. The way his behaviour switched from caring to cold really frustrated me. However, I was still glad that I was finally allowed to go to the garden.

To say I was surprised was an understatement but nonetheless, I promised him that I would behave. My desperation for going out of that depressing room for too much, so much that when Elliott told me to hug him, I did without a second thought. Disobeying him gets me nowhere so it is better if I just go with the flow. For now, atleast.

The familiar dark interior of the kitchen came in my vision, making me halt in my steps. I placed Ace down on the marble floor gently and turned around. There was no one around. The silence in the house was almost deafening. I figured that all the staffs left to their personal quarters since it is evening already.

In moments like this, I was grateful for having Ace. Staying alone all the time in this place, with no people talking with you or even glancing at your direction can be so frustrating sometimes. I felt like going crazy when I woke up to those same four walls all the time. Ace is truly the best gift I have ever received. He manages to cheer me up and make that lonely feeling go away.

I filled up the glass bowl, which had Ace engraved on it, with brown pebble-like food. Placing it infront of him, I watched as he quickly started eating without even sparing me a glance. He loved food more than me, I thought while sighing. It was truly comical how he wouldn't care about the world once he saw his food in sight.