Forbidden Desire

[32] Ace

𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐃𝐞 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐚

The sound of rustling trees and crunched leaves replaced the eerie silence of the bedroom, as I peered out of the large window. Grey clouds started filling in the sky and a gust of wind slamming against the curtains, the temperature of the room dropping significantly.

The dark, gloomy weather matched my dejected emotional state. Rain water was rolling down the window, just like tears were running down my cheeks.

I hastily wipe my cheeks, taking a deep breath to calm down. They wouldn't want me to cry, I remind myself. Yet, I could not stop the tears from falling. The squeezing in my heart made me know just how much I miss them. My family.

Today is my family's death anniversary, ironically a week after my birthday. It has been more than five years already yet, the pain never really went away. The pain of losing your loved ones. The ones who gave you birth and the one whom you shared the same womb with, they are gone and I will never be able to meet them again. I will never be able to eat my mama's blueberry muffins which she loved to bake. I will never get to hug my papa like a teddy bear ever again. And I most certainly, won't ever get to see my brother's warm smile again.

Another tear trickled down my cheek and this time, I made no attempt to dry it. There was no use in wiping when there was a whole waterfall of tears waiting to escape.

I sometimes just wished to die on that same unfortunate day as my family passed away. I wouldn't have had to see the cruel side of this unfair world then. The world is filled with menacing predators, waiting to grasp the opportunity of ruining people's lives.

I already encountered with two of those predators in my twenty-one years of life. I was lucky enough to escape the first one and cursed enough to get stuck with the second one. And this time, I don't think I have a way out of this hell. My life is ruined. I don't really see the meaning of living a life like this.

I shook my head instantly, dismissing the thoughts which were leading me to some darker ones. I don't want to fall in the cycle of harming myself again. Because, once I start, there is no going back.

Swiping out a tissue from the nightstand from beside me, I dry my wet cheeks and think about doing something productive, which was almost impossible seeing how I was locked up in his bedroom. One day, I will surely go insane from waking up to this same room again and again. This room holds the worst and most painful memories of my life, which I hope won't ever repeat.

I slip my hands under the thick duvet and search for my phone, which was the latest iPhone. Elliott gave me this on my birthday as a gift, much to my surprise. My last phone was thrown away by him after my previous attempt of running away.

Upon finding the device, I unlock it and press onto Elliott's contact name, which was the only number I was allowed to text or call in this phone. Just like the last phone, this one's communicative features were also disabled.