|𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠e𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞| ᵃʳᵐⁱⁿ ᵃˡᵉʳᵗ

|9| Not This Place

*Warnings: None*
-PARADIS, 104th SOUTHERN CADET CORPS TRAINING CAMP-

It was the night before graduation, training was over and they were all getting ready to join the real thing. Dinner was a little quieter than usual, but nobody complained. Once everyone was back in the cabins, most people couldn't sleep and talked with all the other night owls, Y/n was one of them but she wasn't interested in conversation. So she decided to go on a night walk.

She left the cabin, the night sky filled with stars. There's too much light in Liberio to see them at night, it was rare to see them like this in any part of Marley. "Hey," a voice said from beside her. She turned her head and saw Armin. They had grown pretty close during their time together, Armin told her almost everything, Y/n told him almost nothing.

"Hmm?" Y/n hummed, not taking her eyes down from the sky. Armin moved beside her, their shoulders touching. "I haven't seen stars like this in years..."

"I mean, I guess but the sky looks like this every night," Armin answered as Y/n looked down from the sky and to him.

"You don't get it, but that's okay," she told him softly. He was a little confused but went with it anyway. They stood together, staring into each others eyes with a sense of longing. He liked her, he liked her so much, and he wanted to tell her, but he wasn't going to. She liked him, but she was in denial. I shouldn't like him, I won't like him and the mission will go on as it should. But that's the last thing she wanted.

"Are you nervous for tomorrow?" he asked her as they began walking together.

"I've been nervous for a while, Armin," she answered. She was being honest, she has been nervous for a while, just not about graduation.

"Yeah, I have too," he replied with a nervous face. "I'm going into The Scouts, with Mikasa and Eren."

"Yeah, I'm heading for The Scouts," she told him. There was an awkward undertone to the conversation, like they both knew what the other thought.

"Hey, here's a good spot to watch the stars," he said as he led Y/n to a small patch of grass, away from prying eyes. They sat beside each other, shoulders touching and heads facing up at the sky. Y/n eventually laid onto her back, Armin doing the same. A little more time passed until all Y/n's thoughts had melted away, more like she shoved them in a dark corner and ignored them. She moved her hand closer to Armin's, interlocking their fingers. Armin squeezed her hand, and she squeezed back.

It was this moment that made her want to stay more than anything. The thought of leaving this new life, her new friends, Armin. It almost made her sick. But leaving Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt made her just as sick. They'd have to go back to that terrible place, the difference is that Y/n had another sibling to keep her father out of Marley's abuse, but they didn't. They had to be there for their family, Y/n wanted to be there for her father, but she never felt like he wanted her there.

But here she had friends, someone who meant a little more than that, and they all liked her. For once, she felt liked by a community, rather than only by a few people who were in the same place as her. Of course, Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt mean the world to her, but her hatred for Marley ran deeper than that. It was almost imbedded into her skin, woven into her DNA, like her family's generational trauma piled onto her back and soaked into her body. Though when she was in Paradis, it left, like she was finally free from that hatred and trauma, and she could just be a person.

"Do you know what I want more than anything?" Y/n asked him as they both stared up at the starry sky.

"Tell me," he said, rubbing his thumb in circles on her hand.