Finding the real you. (Harry Styles fan fiction)

Dirty unsaid secrets.

6 months after... Eleanor and Louis' wedding.

"Hey jess. Why are you so down?" Eleanor sat beside me in her wonderful vera wang wedding dress. I really admire her because it really looks good in her. 

"Does Louis know every single thing about you?" i asked. "Of course. I never keep secrets at him." she smiled.

"You think Harry and I are rushing things?" i asked again. There's one thing that people don't know.

"What makes you day that? You guys earned your trust with each other and you really love each other. No it's not a rush." 

I sighed deeply and placed my hands on my head. I'm the one who's not right for Harry. "Jess? What's happening? Is there anything wrong?" Eleanor asked and held my hand.

"Harry has been honest to me. He really was. But i feel like i'm not the honest one" i said sadly. "What do you mean Jess?" Eleanor asked.

"I hooked-up with Niall when we weren't together" Eleanor was shocked. She just stared at me. "Jess. Please tell me you're kidding" Eleanor said seriously.

"I'm not. I was in LA, we got drunk and that happened and i was lonely" I think Harry would leave me if he knew this. 

"H-how come you never told this to me?" Eleanor asked.

I stood up from the chair and faced El. "Because we made a deal not to say anything about it. But it came to the point that me and Harry are getting married. He was all honest to me. He even confessed that on the day of our 8th grade graduation party. He invited Roxanne"  

I sat down again and placed my hands on my face and started crying. "I don't know what's gonna happen to me if Harry leaves me" i cried.

"Hey. Harry won't leave you. I'm sure he would understand" Eleanor caressed my back. "No. He won't. Because me and Harry haven't done it yet" i cried more and Eleanor hugged me.

"So you lost your v-card to Niall" she whispered. "Everytime with Harry, i feel so pressured and tensed. But with Niall, i was drunk and relaxed and i didn't even know that would happen" i cried.

"Shh. Shh. I know he'll understand. Because you two weren't together that time." Eleanor explained. 

"But i feel like i'm the one who's the gonna ruin everything" i sounded. "Nothing's gonna be ruined. But you have to be honest. And you always got my back." I felt Eleanor kissing my hair. 

As the ceremony goes on. I see Harry smiling back at me, and my guilt killing me. I want to be honest to him. I just don't know what way i should tell him. And there are the vows. Honesty. i'm dead.

I stood in front of the view of the wonderful London. Why does every celebration have to be in the hills? Well because it's wonderful. I crossed my arms as i was crying. 

"Hey" someone hugged my waist. I cleared my tears and he turned me around and i looked down so he won't see that i'm crying. 

"Anything wrong?" he asked. I didn't say a thing. He held my chin and let me look in his eyes. "You're crying." he sounded and tears are filling up my eyes again.

I held both of his hands. "I'm sorry. I haven't been honest with you" i sounded. "What are you saying? You never lied to me. You are always honest to me" i can't stand myself.

"We weren't together. I.." "I what Jess?" he asked. "I hooked-up with Niall" he looked at me seriously  and with anger. "Jessica please tell me you're joking. You didn't lost your virginity with Niall" i cried. "I'm so sorry Harry" i cried.

"Now you're telling me you're sorry? Jessica. You lost your virginity with him! I know you dated him and we weren't together, but having sex with a guy you didn't even love? And when it comes to me, you refuse. Then now you're telling me you had sex with my bestfriend?!" he shouted and took off his hands from mine.