Conversation
"Will she be okay?"
I heard vague noises in the background. I carefully opened my eyes, and the white ceiling greeted me immediately. I gently lifted my head to see where I was, and noticed that I was in a hospital room... Again.
"Will she be fine once she's awake?" Hinahanap ko ang pinanggalingan ng boses at nakita ko na may dalawang tao ang nag-uusap malapit sa may pintuan ng kwarto. The one is a nurse and the other is... Adam?
"Yes po, Doc Cervantes. She's just exhausted po kaya nahimatay po siya. I already injected IV fluids para po bumalik na yung lakas niya." The nurse said.
"Exhausted?" Mahinang sabi ni Adam na para bang bulong lang iyon.
"But she looks familiar. Parang the past few weeks ay may naging pasyente din kami na kamukha niya." The nurse suddenly said.
"She's an OJT here. Kaya familiar siya sayo."
Dahan-dahan kong sinusubukan na umupo sa kama ko ngunit agad ako napa "aray" kaya ang atensyon ng nurse at ni Adam ay napunta saakin.
"Sige po, Doc Cervantes. I'll be back nalang po to check her again."
"Sure sure, thank you so much!" Adam said to the nurse at agad siyang lumapit papunta saakin.
"E-eve, slowly," Agad niya akong inalalayan sa likod at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Just one touch from him made me want to cry right in front of him. I wanted to tell him how exhausted I am, how my co-interns have treated me harshly over the last few days, how terrified I am because of my illness, and how lonely I am because he has never been by my side.
I miss him so much...
My eyes start to get blurry as tears formed in them. I want to cry in front of him already. I want to feel safe in his arms again. I crave his warmth. However, I can't show how vulnerable I am right now since I feel guilty for ignoring him these couple of weeks.
"A-ako na." Agad kong bawi sa kamay ko. I can sense the awkwardness between us. "M-mukhang o-okay na ata ako... Pwede na siguro ako umuwi sa d-dorm namin..." Dagdag ko pang sabi pagkatapos nang ilang segundong walang nagsasalita saamin. Nakatayo lang siya habang ako naman ay tahimik na nakaupo at pinaglalaruan ang kamay ko.
"S-sorry nga pala ah... Dahil saakin naabala pa kita. Huwag kang mag-alala a-ako naman ang magbabayad para dito. A-atsaka kaya ko na ang sarili ko kaya... Pwede ka ng umu—"
"Seriously..." I stopped when I heard his voice. "Papaalisin mo ako? Ako? Uuwi? Pagkatapos kitang makitang mahimatay sa hallway... Then you'll tell me to leave?" His voice cracked a bit. He stared directly into my eyes, and the way he looked at me made something stab in my heart.
"W-where's your thank you, Eve? Do you realize how worried I am? I already told myself that when I met you on the ground floor, you had a bruise... It means you're not fine or something happened... I wanted to visit you... But I couldn't find you." He inhaled deeply at tumingin muna siya saglit sa itaas na para bang nagpipigil siya. "Then came the time when I found you... But you've already ignored me... As if I don't exist."
His words are like spears and arrows in my heart. I clutched my blanket tightly in hopes to help ease his suffering. He believes he is at fault, despite the fact that I am the one who has distanced from him. I'm the one trying to build high walls to protect him from the damage that I may cause.
No, Adam. I ignore you simply because you exist. I really wanted to ignore you because... My world has begun to revolve around you, and I'm scared.
"A-adam," I slowly reached for his hand, pero inilayo niya ito.
"Eve, are we okay?" I attempted to look at his face, but the pain deepened. "I'm trying to guess the possible reasons why you're treating me as if I did not exist in your eyes, but I can't? Please, Eve... Can you tell me? I-I will listen, I swear."
BINABASA MO ANG
When the Sky Meets the Sea
Jugendliteratur"Happiness is a place between too little and too much." When everything appears to be really well, it can imply one of two things: you are living an idyllic existence with your loved ones, or tragedy is approaching. Evelyn Letizia Andres loves her...
