The Hearts that Bleed Black

Chapter 18

King Aspen

When we woke up the next morning, the sun was just beginning to rise. I blinked sleepily as the blinding beams shone into my eyes. I had woken up several times during the night to rustling in the trees around us. Once I thought I saw a pair of antlers blocking the moonlight, but they disappeared before I could be sure. I knew the animals were watching us, why they didn't attack I wasn't sure.

"Morning sleepyhead" Bellatrix laughed, "Glad to see you're awake."

"Mmmph" I murmured, trying my best to feel more awake, "Did we need to get up so early..."

"Come on, I already let you sleep in" Bellatrix rolled her eyes, standing over me, "You've had plenty of sleep."

I realised Misaki and Kijani were already up, looking very tired themselves. With a sigh I sat up, hauling myself to my feet. I stared glumly over to Kijani, slightly wishing it was just us. The things I'd do to just wrap my arms around him and just go back to sleep...

"Right, you two start getting packed up" Bellatrix commanded, "We're leaving in ten minutes."

"Fine" I muttered, "Come on Kijani."

I saw Kijani's eyes roll to the back of his head, but he began to pack up his makeshift bed. Within a few minutes everyone was packed and ready to go. I swung clumsily into Yukio's saddle, feeling exhaustion on the corners of my mind. Everyone else swung up with considerably more grace.

"Follow me" Bellatrix clicked her horse into a trot, "We should be home by midday if we keep up the pace."

"I can't wait," Misaki grinned, "I don't think I've ever seen the palace with my own eyes."

"It's nothing too exciting" Kijani grumbled, "It's just a big lump of rock with a few vines."

"Hey! The castle is very beautiful, thank you very much" I snorted, swatting a hand at him, "If you keep insulting our gorgeous architecture you can go back to sleeping in the gutter."

"Like you could get rid of me" Kijani muttered, "Fucking slut." I felt my face flush, glancing over at the others to see Bellatrix raise her eyebrow. I looked away, deciding to ignore her.

"Why are you so grumpy today?" I frowned at Kijani, lowering my tone, "You're in an even more shitty mood than usual, and that means a lot."

"I don't want to go back to the castle" Kijani huffed, glaring at me, "Now I'll have to share you again." His face was contorted with a look of immature jealousy, deeply unhappy about having to return home.

"I'm sure you'll survive" I rolled my eyes, "When Alani is old enough to take over the kingdom we can run away where no one will find us."

I was just saying that. Despite how much I loved Kijani, I wasn't sure I could bring myself to leave my kingdom. My kingdom was very dear to me.

Dearer than him?

No, not dearer than him. My lip wobbled; my heart struck with the notion it was being torn in two. One for my people, the other for the man I loved. Never before had I felt conflict so violent I feared it was going to tear my chest apart.

"Glad to know you're loyal to your kingdom" Misaki said loudly, "Glad I can rely on my king to not abandon us."

"Stop eavesdropping," Kijani snarled, "It's none of your business."

"It is my business if you're going to betray everyone" Misaki snorted, "And I can't help hearing it. You know what that's like."

"Betrayal? I'd never betray the kingdom" I blinked in surprise, feigning a smile, "The kingdom comes first." I stared at Kijani, knowing with all my heart I wasn't sure if that was true.