MENDED

thirty-nine

alex

two days after saylor found me drunk in my apartment, the band has practice. during the past two days, i haven't done much of anything. yesterday, i took axel to the vet, since he was just a stray kitten i had found. besides that though, i've pretty much just stayed in my apartment with saylor, trying not to think about anything but being with saylor.

though that's a lot easier said than done.

since the last band's practice, i haven't been able to stop thinking about what happened with devon. she had talked about how she missed me, and how she wants us to try again. i had basically told her to fuck off, but she was persistent as ever; she won't stop until she gets what she wants. at some point, she had stepped close to me, and before i could even think about her intentions, she had kissed me. she had held my face in her hands as she did so.

i've never been so confused and conflicted over something as simple as a kiss.

i felt sick to my stomach, but at the same time, it was so familiar. it was something that i used to seek comfort in. memories and feelings from years ago came back to me at once, and i couldn't handle it. i didn't know how to.

but through it all, i couldn't stop thinking of saylor. she was less than twenty feet away from me at the time, and there i was kissing someone else. granted, i didn't want the kiss, but it still happened.

speaking of saylor, i've been thinking a lot about what she suggested.

therapy.

of course, throughout the years, i've thought about therapy. i've wondered if it could actually help. at the end of the day though, i've always rejected the idea. i can't even begin to imagine spilling my guts to a complete stranger, as well as having to sit through them telling me about how fucked up i am.

i let out a deep sigh. i took a final drag of my cigarette, which was almost completely smoked at this point, before i dropped it to the ground and walked back into the practice building. everybody's heads turned to face me.

"so, i got the last song on the album fully produced; now, it just needs to be mastered," jessie grinned.

"ugh, finally. i can't wait for this shit to be released."

"me either," miguel agreed. "i'm excited, but nervous to see everyone's reaction to it."

"i don't think i'll be able to look," saylor admitted. "but i want to," she added, which made us all laugh.

with that, we started to practice. we were in the practice building for nearly two hours before we called it a day. me and saylor headed out for food after a bit of talking with the other two. we walked down the streets of new york together, headed towards one of our favorite restaurants.

at some point, a man walked out of a store, right in front of us. he turned towards us, seemingly about to apologize for almost running into us, but he stopped as his eyes landed on saylor. his eyes lit up slightly. as my eyes took in his facial features, i had to stop my jaw from dropping.

"oh, shit. hey, saylor," he gave a smile.

"hi, arlo," saylor said through a breath. she glanced to me, but i was looking between the two in shock.

god, she looks just like him.

honestly, if i didn't know any better, i might think the two of them were twins or something. everything from their eyes, to their nose, to their lips, were all nearly identical.

i wonder how many times she's looked in the mirror, just to see him instead?

"oh, this is alex, my— uh, the lead lead singer and guitarist in the band," saylor told arlo as she gestured to me.

i glanced over at saylor as she opted to not tell him that me and her are dating, which i can't exactly blame her for. i looked back to arlo, and i held my hand out for a handshake. he placed his hand in mine.

"'sup, man?" he asked. "i've listened to your shit, and i gotta say, you're pretty fucking talented."

my brows raised a bit. "shit, thank you. i heard you taught saylor to play guitar, so you must be pretty good yourself, huh?"

"oh, no, she's long surpassed my skills," he gave a small laugh. "i'm not that good."

he gave saylor another look, one that i could tell was filled with love. "i, uh, need to get going. you down to get some coffee on friday?" he asked saylor.

she paused for a moment before she nodded. "yeah, i'm down."

he gave a smile. he brought her in for a quick side hug. he then looked back to me. "it was nice to meet you, alex."

"yeah, you too," i gave a nod.

with that, he walked away. me and saylor resumed walking towards the restaurant. i glanced down at her as we walked.

"so, uh... how has that been going? meeting with him and talking to him?" i asked.

"fine?" she answered, but she said it as more of a question than an answer. "it's weird talking to him again, but also comforting. i don't know. i just— i've missed him. a lot."

"well, he seems to be well enough right now. hopefully, he continues to be," i murmured as i wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

"yeah, i hope so too," she sighed as she leaned into my side.

•

a/n ayooo

short ass chapter

thoughts??

any predictions?

words:
954