MENDED

sixteen

saylor

after i got off the phone with amari, i sat outside for a few minutes. i had managed to stop crying a bit ago, but i'd be lying if i said that i wasn't still shaken up and upset about the entire situation. i wiped my face clean and ran my fingers through my hair as i stood up. i took several, deep breaths before i headed back inside.

once i walked inside, i went to my green room. i shut the door behind myself as i walked into it. as i gathered my things, i noticed that alex had left their carhartt jacket in here. as soon as i saw it, i walked over to pick it up so that i could slip it on. it was absolutely huge on me, but i loved it. it's always been so comforting to me, especially since it always smells strongly of alex.

i glanced in the mirror after i put the jacket on. it wouldn't take much to see that i'd been crying. i wiped at my face again, and i then pulled the jacket hood over my head. i didn't bring much to the show tonight; everything fit into my pockets. so, after i had everything, i walked out of my green room and shoved my hands into the pockets of alex's jacket.

usually, we have a quite a bit of time that we can stay at a venue like this after our show. tonight, i was ready to get out of here and back home as soon as possible. as i left my green room, i started to head towards alex's to ask if they were ready to leave yet.

i wasn't looking forward as i walked, so i was surprised to hear a familiar "hi, darling." i barely glanced up at alex before i brought them into a hug. they seemed to tense up for a second, obviously caught off guard by my sudden hug. they soon wrapped their arms around me though, and they pulled me close.

"is everything— are you okay?" alex asked quietly.

i hesitated for a moment. i wanted to tell alex about what happened, and i knew that i needed to. at the same time though, i would have to explain everything to them and open up about everything with arlo, and i'm gonna be honest... i can't do that. not right now; not after what just happened.

the only reason i called amari and was able to tell him about what happened and why i called him for comfort, is because he's the only person who knows about what happened that night. he's the only person i've told, and therefore, the only person i felt comfortable enough to tell about  what happened tonight.

honestly, amari is a great guy. he was such a good friend before we dated, and he was even a great boyfriend for the first year and a half or so. we just weren't compatible in a romantic relationship, so everything went downhill after a while.

i'll always have love for him, no matter the fact that we didn't work out. don't get me wrong though; i don't have romantic feelings for him or anything. i've long been over him in that way. now, he's just an old friend who i know will always have my back.

i nodded against alex's chest. "yeah, i'm fine, baby. can we leave now though? i'm ready to go to bed."

a few seconds passed before i felt alex place a kiss to the top of my head. "okay, yeah. let's go then."

i stepped back from their embrace, and they placed their hand on my lower back to guide me forward. we went to their green room to grab their bag, then left outside to get to their car. i asked if we could go to my apartment, and they agreed.

while we were in the car, on the way to my apartment, i scrolled through my phone. i wasn't even paying attention to whatever was on there though. i just needed something to keep me busy. at some point, i texted amari to thank him for talking me through what happened with arlo. as alex drove, i could feel them glance and stare at me every so often. i tried my best to ignore their stares.