MENDED

fifteen

alex

after the show, the four of us each walked into our green rooms. i had asked saylor for some alone time, so she hasn't come to my green room like she usually does after a show. when i walked into the room, i shut the door behind myself and walked over to get a bottle of water.

after i had drank about half of the water bottle, i ran my hand through my hair as i walked over to the full body mirror. i stood in front of it, and i let my eyes wander down to where my chest was exposed from the button up shirt that i was wearing.

i'm still not used to seeing my chest post-surgery. i can't get over how good it looks.

i'm not used to actually being able to go shirtless or have my chest exposed like this. for obvious reasons, i couldn't exactly due so before my top surgery.

not that i would go without a shirt before. i hardly liked going without wearing a binder or a sports bra. the only time i'd go without my binder is when i was getting a shower, and i'd alway wear a sports bra to bed.

now though, i'm comfortable enough to go to sleep without a shirt on; i sleep in just my boxer-briefs, and it feels amazing. i'll even sleep in just that with saylor now. she's really big on skin-to-skin contact, so she's been loving it too.

i looked down as i started to unbutton my shirt so that i could change it. once it was completely unbuttoned, i slipped it off and tossed it to the side for now. i let out a breath as i ran my hand down my chest, still in complete awe over the fact that it was flat.

i stepped away from the mirror after i took a final glance in it. i picked up my shirt again, and i brought it over to my bag, where i switched it out for a t-shirt. i also grabbed a pair of sweatpants to swap out with the dress pants i was wearing.

once i was changed, i exited my green room. i started to walk to saylor's green room, but i stopped as i remembered our conversation that we had right before we went on stage, as well as the fact that after the show, she had asked for some alone time too.

i'm honestly really glad that jessie interrupted me before i could finish. i could've ruined everything between me and saylor, just like that, with a handful of words.

how do i thank jessie without explicitly telling her what i'm thanking her for?

i let out a deep sigh. i turned around, and i headed to jessie's green room instead. once i was in front of the door, i knocked a few times. they told me i could come in, so i opened the door, then closed it behind me as i walked in.

"hey, man. what's up?" they asked as they looked up from their phone. they were sitting on the end of the couch that was in here.

"nothing," i sighed as i slumped down onto the opposite end of the couch. "what are you doing?" i nodded my head towards their phone.

her eyes widened ever so slightly, and a small smile started to play on her lips. "texting billie."

"i should've known," i mumbled. i crossed my arms behind my head as i completely leaned back and looked up at the roof. "i forgot to ask, but how did it go, when she came over and stayed for a week?"

"so good," her eyes widened even more as she tossed her phone into her lap. they pulled their legs up onto the couch and sat crisscrossed as they turned their body to face me. "we went on all these lil' dates, and dude, it was so— ahhh, i can't even explain it. the second night she was there, i finally manned up and kissed her."

their face was now flushed as they recalled back to that night. "not gonna lie, i freaked out after i kissed her. i pulled back and was deadass about to apologize, but she grabbed my shirt, pulled me back, and kissed me again. bro, i don't think i've ever been more turned on in my life."