Dial Drunk - Post Malone

50

Three full months after he walked onto this farm he walks out to Grassy who is checking the new potato seedlings. "Grassy...I think it's time to visit my father," Austin says. Grassy's head shoots up and he looks at Austin for a long time while he stares back. "Are you ready?" Grassy asks. "Yes," Austin answers. "Alring then," Grassy says standing. He reaches behind his back and pulls out that silver hip flask then holds it out to Austin. Austin stares at it for a while then grabs it and twits off the cap. It's full. He has had it with him, full, this whole time? Austin brings it up to his lips and breathes in the sweet whisky smell before his eyes flick to Grassy. Then he grins, holds out his arm and tips the flask, watching the amber liquid pour out and seep into the dusty soil. "I told you. I am ready," he says twisting the cap back on before he tosses it on the ground. "Well then, let's go!" Grassy says dusting his hands off.

"Oh...now?"

"No time like present dear boy!" Grassy says walking toward the house while Austin runs behind him. Austin had thought they would leave in the next few days, but now that he thinks about it, it's his nerves that are holding him back. Grassy is right - there is no time like the present and this conversation with his father is long overdue. They leave for Texas immediately, it's not that far and soon he finds himself near the gates of the ranch he grew up on.

He drives past the ranch house in the distance and to the hill he knows his father will be on, just waiting for him. When he climbs out of the car he looks up on top of the hill and sees his father. He takes a deep breath then walks up the hill and stands in front of his father.

"Hello, Dad..." he whispers.

"Hello, Austin, my boy. You have finally decided to visit me. Do you have your shit together? Grassy is my favourite son just so you know. He is also very handsome, way more handsome than you."

Austin sighs. Does he have to do this every fucking time? "Grassy, do you have to do that every time we visit? It's creepy and he didn't sound like that," Austin groans. "What? I am just trying to make this experience as real as possible for you," Grassy says stepping out from behind his father's headstone. "Just go sit over there on that bench. You are not more handsome than me," Austin says pointing to the bench under a tree. "Fine...and I am more handsome, it's just a fact," Grassy mumbles as he walks off to the bench. Austin shakes his head at Grassy and then looks back at his father. He died so young,  he didn't even make fifty and never got to see the man Austin had become. Now that Austin has finally admitted the truth his feelings are a little all over the place.

"Dad..." he whispers, "I know you tried to stop...I know you wanted life to be different. I know you loved Mama and I...but you lost yourself to the bottle by your choice alone...I can admit that now and it is not a betrayal on you or me. I don't love you any less. You are not any less the cowboy who raised me. I hurt a lot of people...Mama...Levi...I broke their hearts in my pursuit not to face who you had become and ultimately who I had become," Austin says then looks over at Grassy who gives him a thumbs up. He smiles and looks back at his father. "You were proud of me...I made something of myself and the world watches me just like you said they would. But, I am proud of myself too...I beat my nightmares and I used the strength you instilled in me," Austin says sitting down on a stump of wood after he dusts a few fallen leaves off his father's headstone.

"Dad, I know you have been watchin' me from up there. When you saw how far I fell. Did it hurt? 'Cause God knows it hurt me to see your eyes fade the day you fell. They say pain is worse when you're helpless...but, I am not helpless anymore. Sometimes I wonder if you were still here - would you have had the words to steer me right? I feel closer to you now more than I ever have. I have felt that hopelessness just as you had. But, see how I've grown, how I have changed? I hid in that bottle a thousand times but I've found my voice now," he says, his eyes starting to water as he gets off the stump and crawls closer to his dad. He misses him so much.