Dial Drunk - Post Malone

41

Austin's album skyrockets. It's record-breaking and people go insane over it. Over one song specifically - I live in your world, sweet. It's fucking everywhere. Every club, radio station, supermarket and even the doctor's office that Austin has to visit when he cuts his hand open while drunk, he doesn't remember what he was doing. Things also change. They change a lot.

Everything is a blur. He is on tour and will be for most of the year. He attends parties every night and if there is not one close enough he will make his own. The bus becomes a dark grungy black hole that smells like whisky and dying dreams. Dre won't let him do any more interviews or engagements after an 'incident' at a radio station interview at the beginning of the tour. He put out a media statement saying the tour was stressful on Austin who is burnt out and to allow him to get some rest they will only be doing his scheduled shows. Austin is fine with that as it allows him to soak himself in whisky between shows without the judgmental eyes of the world.

He is drunk every time he goes on stage and people start asking questions, but the label brings on a damage control team who spin a story about Austin being an artist, an entertainer and his crazy presence on stage is all part of the show. He laughed at them saying people would never buy that, but they did. They lapped it up and called him a genius for coming up with a quirky gimmick that pushed his sales even higher. Austin is never fully sober and you would think being like this would only damage his career - it does the opposite, and he takes that as a sign that everything is fine.

Dre hires another bodyguard for him so now he has two and when Austin asks why. Dre simply says it's because he had grown so big, he is an A-lister now and all A-listers have two bodyguards. But, Austin has his doubts because he never goes out in public - parties, bus, bottle store, stage - those are his movements and so his bodyguards feel more like babysitters.

He does not see Cecilia or Max although Cecilia always has his clothing delivered, ready and waiting for him and he knows they are on tour too as Dre will never leave them at home alone. But, he doesn't ask why he can't see them because he and Dre both know why he does not see them - Dre does not want Cecilia or Max anywhere near Austin while he is drunk and he is always drunk. Always. But, sometimes Dre brings photos and Austin goes through them, his heart painful at seeing how big Max is getting. He swears every time that he will stay sober just long enough to see Max - he never does. He also declines all calls from his mother even though she continues to phone him. The woman refuses to give up, she is relentless.

He also does not speak to Levi while he is on tour, he blocked her number and refused to talk to her. He has cut her off - not intending to hurt her, but, he had meant what he said, she needs to move on. He thinks she has because he heard she went to stay with Colter Wall to write with him on his next album. So now that's the thing that keeps him spinning out. She is the reason he is losing his mind. She has moved on and he is losing his mind. It's all so fucked up especially when he dreams about her. There are times when his mind plays tricks on him and she appears in front of him. She is so real he can feel her when he reaches out and touches her. She always pulls him into a tight hug and he can feel her touch, he can even smell her on his skin for days after. His solution to deal with this is to drink more - she is the reason he drinks. He is mad she is with Colter, he is hurt that she won't accept him for who he is, he is devastated he can't be with her and on nights when his mind gets to its darkest he questions if she actually ever loved him and also convinces himself that she is and always has been in love with Colter - he has a real chip in his shoulder about the man and he does not know why.

~

"I hate Colter Wall," he says one night after crawling under the bus, drunk, when he gets back from a party. "I know," Grassy says. The man is still at Austin's side. Like a shadow, he just won't leave.