Dial Drunk - Post Malone

26

Austin feels like he is going crazy. He is also very irritable so he left the bus early in the morning before Levi woke up. He does not want to snap at her. That is the last fucking thing he wants to do. He is scared that she is at risk of leaving him at any second and he doesn't want to open that door for her. Besides this is all Grassy's fucking fault. They had eaten their pizza and gone to bed, but he could not sleep so after he had made sure Levi was sound asleep he slipped out of bed. He knows he had said he would stop the whisky and was intending to but his life feels like it's spiralling so he just wanted a sip or two to help him sleep. He had spent an hour searching all his hiding places, but he could not find a single bottle. After the last time he ran out he made sure Jack kept all his hiding places stocked. Even his flask was empty - washed out and everything. Eventually, he heard Grassy's voice drift out from his bunk softly.

"I dumped it all, buddy...you made Levi a promise."

So with that, Austin had no choice but to crawl back into bed. He had tried to sleep but had not gotten much rest, thrashing around so much he had even woke Levi.

Now he is in a car on his way to a sound check for his show tonight and he can't concentrate. He snaps at anyone who speaks to him and his fucking hands won't stop shaking. His mother calls again but he doesn't answer because he is never kind with his words to her but even he knows given the mood he is in he will say some things that could never be unsaid. Cruel things not even she deserves to hear.

By the time they get to the stadium, his head is killing him and the relief that washes over his body when he sees Jack scares him a little. But, he does not stop to asses that as he takes the bottle of vodka from Jack's hand and takes a few long sips. He feels better immediately then pulls out his hip flask and fills it up. He has to be more discreet because now he knows Levi is watching him and he does not want to worry her more so he finds an empty water bottle in the bathroom and fills it with the vodka too. Grassy was right, it does look like water. He sips his water rather proudly throughout the day, pleased that no one is any the wiser. Clever.

By the time his day ends and he heads to the stadium his nerves take over, he is meeting Levi there. He hopes like hell she doesn't smell anything on him so he smokes more cigarettes than usual and breathes out a sigh of relief when she hugs him without saying anything. He has hidden his drink well today. But, perhaps he should not be as proud as he is about it.

"Did you have a good day, sweet?" he signs as he changes. "I did. I signed a new client. She is brand new to the industry and she is very sweet. We will be writing her first song, I think she is going to be big," she signs excitedly.

"She will give me a run for my money?"

"Definitely," Levi signs and then giggles. "How was your day? Are you doing alright? Any problems?" she signs.

"No, sweet, all good. I had a good day."

Guilt floods Austin's body. He doesn't want to lie to her, but he doesn't want her to worry about him either. He can understand her being upset over his incident in the hotel, he doesn't know how he let himself get that bad with her around. He will be more careful in the future, she does not deserve this but his mind says one thing while his hand does another. He has noticed lately that he keeps saying he will stop but somehow lands up sucking on a bottle almost as if he is on autopilot. It's fine, he has a handle on it.

"I am fine, let's just move on," he signs. He just wants to put all this behind them. He will stop, he just needs a little something to get him through the day for now. Once they are back in LA he won't drink at all. That's a promise he makes to himself.

"As long as you sure you are fine."

"I am fine, I promise."

"Alright...speaking of moving on..."