Back To You

Acceptance

Hiraeth Davenport

"What is your problem?" I looked up from my piece of untouched math homework. My girlfriend was blatantly staring at me, and though that usually would make my heart flutter, it was pissing me off this time. She was staring at me full of pity and sorrow. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Because you don't want to talk about it." Malakai gently touched my hand and I gently rolled her hand off of mine. Thankfully, she didn't seem to be hurt by my actions.

"What is there to talk about? It's been years." I put my homework to the side because I knew that I wouldn't be able to get anything done.

"Time doesn't necessarily erase the past. It's what you do during that time that matters." Malakai pointed out.

I couldn't find anything to rebuttal her point. She was right, no amount of time could erase my mother's death. So I bit the inside of my cheek and tried to find something else to distract her with. To bring us to a much lighter note. "Do you want to go to prom together?"

Malakai raised an eyebrow and leaned back on her elbows. "Where's my epic promposal?"

"It's in the form of the ticket I bought for you," I said simply. I had originally planned to give Malakai the ticket and ask at a better time. But my plans had abruptly changed.

Malakai narrowed her eyes. "I'm not going to prom with you. Your promposal is insulting and rushed."

"You don't like roses, or public proposals, or extravagant declarations unless it's a for sure yes because you don't really like surprises," I recalled. "Years ago, you told me that you wanted a guy to simply buy you a ticket to prom and ask. The same thing applied for getting married."

Malakai bit her lip. "The way you asked isn't the issue."

"Then what is the problem?" I asked.

"You asked me so I would shut up about your grieving," Malakai said quietly. Her lips twitched up into a sad smile. "As if I'm ever that easy to distract."

"I wanted to distract myself by switching to a more positive note." I rolled my eyes and picked up my math homework.

Malakai plucked my homework out of my lap and set it to the side. I kissed my teeth in response. "Then open your admissions letter from Yale."

That was the last thing I wanted to do. I wasn't ready to open the letter, and I might not have ever been. "And what if it's a rejection?"

"Like I rejected your promposal?" Malakai poked my leg, teasingly.

I shrugged and laid down on the bed. "You didn't reject it, you're postponing your acceptance."

"Postponing my acceptance?" Malakai laughed. I just nodded in response.

The ghost of a small heavyweight sat on my chest as I stared up at the ceiling. Due to the weight, I wasn't able to verbally reply to her.

Malakai seemed to notice my silence and snuggled closer to me. I rested my head on her chest. "Do I need to leave?"

"Why would you need to leave?" I asked softly.

"Maybe you'd rather be spending time with your father," Malakai suggested.

"I've outgrown that. Ever since he got a new wife." I scoffed. I didn't even see my father once today. He went off to work early in the morning and hadn't even bothered to text me all day.

"That doesn't mean he's forgotten about your mom or loved her any less," Malakai said.

"Loved." And like a tidal wave, all my grief crashed onto me and I broke out into a sob.