Reborn | Taekook

2

4/6/2018
Jeongguk's pov

He said my love is a sin, I'm nothing but a disgusting person, nothing but a shame to Jeon family. When I was born they were so happy, happy to have me but it drives me crazy how fast the night changes. Now I am just a shame for this family, the shame they want to hide so desperately.

They told me to only become a tough man, a strong man they can trust for their company. They never cared what I actually like, what I actually am. They just made me do what they like. But he didn't, he told me how beautiful I am. He told me that it's okay to be yourself. He told me everything is fine as long as it makes me the happiest person.

Then why? Why am I standing beside a girl I have never met before? Why is she going to be my life partner when I don't know anything about her? Why aren't you beside me? You said everything was fine if it makes me the happiest. Then why the thing that makes me the happiest is a sin to everyone. You said I don't need to utter a word you will understand then why couldn't you read my eyes but read what my lips said, Taehyung?

You lied, Taehyung. Everything you said to me was nothing but a lie. A lie which brought me here, making me marry someone I don't even know. You said love is mutual, love is love. It doesn't matter any genders, any religion if your love is pure.

Then is my love not pure? Nobody told me that I can't love you, then when I actually fell for you why is everyone against us? This is so unfair, this world is so unfair.

You are still not here, maybe you are mad at me as you should. But whom should I be mad at? Guess it's myself. Why can't these people see the pain inside my eyes? Why is everyone so blind? I want to cry, shout on everyone's face that I don't want to marry her. But I can't, I can't even cry. Tears refused to come out, maybe I cried too much.

I can see Hobi hyung and Yoongi hyung looking at me with sad eyes, they must be wondering how unlucky I am. What a miserable fate I have. I really wished I didn't fall for you, I didn't feel special everytime you praised me, I didn't think of ourselves as something more than friends. This love turned my life upside down.

"Smile!" I heard the photographer telling us to smile, how am I supposed to smile when I don't have any reason to smile. Will I be able to smile from my heart again? No, I'm not that lucky.

I felt someone linking their hand around my arm, I looked beside me. She smiled at me, she must be very happy about our engagement. But how can I be happy? I heard the photographer chirping telling everyone he had snapped a romantic picture of us.

"Aww ,look at the way Gguk is looking at her." My mom awed, I don't know if i still should call her my mother. If she was a mother she would have understood the pain my eyes were holding when I looked at her. But she can never understand, she was never a mother to me.

My body was here but was my mind here? The answer is no. My mind was with Taehyung, my heart was with him. I was wondering where he was. It's funny how I was imagining some funny scenarios which can only happen in movies. What if Taehyung and I run away, far away from everyone. Far away from all of this where nobody knows who we are.

I stared at my hand which was holding a small box, there was a diamond ring inside it. I have to put that ring on her finger. Knowing that I don't have any other way, I put the ring on her finger. She blushed, she seems to be so happy. I wish I was as happy as her.

Finally the engagement was over, she was still clinging to me and I let her be. It's not like everything was happening according to my liking. I really wished I could accept the reality, the reality where I can't have him as mine. Where my love is a sin. But I can't, I couldn't accept it. My heart refused to accept it.