She Makes Me - A Brian May Fan Fiction

Chapter 40: So Be It

[tw: racism]

***

[John]

I awoke face down on the bed after such an utterly exhausting night. 

Don't mistake me, I absolutely relish moments like these— seeing and being with Stella for days on end, sharing a bed, and spending time with her and my mates. But it can become rather draining, you know? Every Friday afternoon is designated for me to journey to Truro by boarding a five-hour railway, directly following my college classes.

But there is no one to blame but myself, really. Roger and Brian had asked me whether I could commit to this very routine on a weekly basis, and I assented. For quite some time I had yearned to join a music group, and they were the first to truly impress me.

Therefore, it was truly exhilarating to receive word that Brian had procured bookings for us at multiple gigs this spring in London and a few others dispersed throughout England—an utterly mad prospect. Never in my wildest fancies could I have imagined experiencing a touring circuit around England. Cornwall alone felt immense enough, if I'm being honest. So this presents quite the challenge, but also an electrifying prospect.

Although... 

Upon Brian and Simone's return from London, he arrived bearing news that our commitments for the music festivals would necessitate remaining in London for a few months until December. 

If you suppose the two other couples are the sole ones dreading the arrival of May, that would be untrue. I understand that this shall be their first experience of this sort regarding their relationships, which is why the burden seems heavier upon them. But even after so many months of this long-distance dynamic, I terribly miss Stella's presence all the time. Ave and Freddie are both lucky. With Ave's lack of worries with any academic or employment commitments, she is able to come with us.

Last week brought a painful discussion with Stella. 

"What if I were to transfer to a college somewhere in London?" She proposed.

"Don't do that on my account," I chuckled, turning my head to face her, still lying prone.

"Oh, but I will," she scoffed with a chuckle.

"I can visit you per our usual routine," I suggested as I turned to lie on my back. "I simply don't wish for you to endure such upheaval. You're too young to make that sacrifice for a lad like me, you know."

"What is that even supposed to mean?" She shifted positions, inching slightly farther away.

"It would not be worthwhile for someone like yourself to enact such a huge change in your life for someone like me," I pouted. "We're only soon to turn twenty."

Stella's expression hardened as she pulled further away from me on the bed. "Well isn't that just a lovely sentiment," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Here I am, willing to go the extra mile to make this work between us, and you're dismissing it as not being 'worthwhile.'"

I winced at her words, realizing how callous I must have sounded. Reaching out, I gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "You know I don't mean it that way, darling. It's just...we're both so young still. Our lives, our paths, they're all just taking shape. I don't want you making any rash decisions that could throw your future off course."

"And what if being with you is part of my path?" Stella's eyes searched mine intently. "What if keeping us together is just as important to my future as anything else?"

Her fervent words made my heart swell even as the guilt churned in my gut. I loved this woman with every fiber of my being. But the thought of her derailing her education, her passions, all for my sake...it made me sick.