The Way I Loved You

A Fresh Start

As Hyunwoo stood there still caught up in his myriad of emotions, his ears picked up on the faintest sound drifting through the crack beneath the door. It was staccatoed and irregular, not like any other sound he usually heard on the farm.

Curious, he followed the sound and pushed the door to the porch open, only to realise that it was the sound of sobs, coming from the love of his life who was curled up in a ball alone.

His stomach dropped.

No. She couldn't possibly know, right? She's supposed to be over the moon, why is she crying?

He bolted over, dropping to his knees so that he could look at her face. The ground was hard beneath his bones, but he didn't feel it at all.

"Haein ah." His eyes searched her face, trying frantically to figure out what was wrong. With how he was acting, one would think that she had a gaping wound on her head, but that was simply how important her wellbeing was to him. A single tear could leave him scrambling to figure out why she was upset so he could fix it immediately.

She looked at Hyunwoo through her tear-filled vision, noticing the way he was looking at her like she was the most precious thing in the world, his eyes already reddening as if he was going to cry just because she was sad. And it touched her heart so deeply, making her wonder what she could've possibly done so wonderfully in her life to deserve him.

Having him kneel before her so lovingly only opened the floodgates to all the tears she'd been trying to hold back. She hadn't wanted him to know that she was crying, which was why she was out here in the cold trying to stifle her sobs. But of course, what else could she have expected from her amazingly attentive husband who picked up on all her emotions? She was just so grateful, and so happy, it felt like a massive weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Soon, she wouldn't have to worry about dying anymore, she wouldn't have to feel guilty for breaking Hyunwoo's heart and they could be together.

It felt like she had been walking on a tightrope for the past few months, dancing along the cliff of death as she tried to cling on to this world. There were so many times when she'd gotten shoved so hard by life that she wanted to give up and allow herself to fall, but she'd held on in the end. Now, she could finally relax and she was just so relieved.

Had she not been so overcome by her emotions, she would have laughed at the way Hyunwoo's flustered hands wandered from her hands to her ankles, at a loss of what to do to comfort her. He was so adorably earnest in caring for her that she had absolutely no doubts about his love.

"It's okay. I'm fine. I really am. It's just been ages since I felt fine." She struggled to get the words out through her tears, her voice wobbling as the sobs shook her shoulders violently. "These are tears of joy."

"Yes, I know." Hyunwoo nodded in understanding, his expression melting into a relieved smile. She was okay. These days, it felt like all he could ask for.

How long had she been suppressing all her emotions for them to all burst out like that? How many upsetting thoughts had gone through her mind while she lay awake at night? He hated that he couldn't be there for her, to be an outlet for all the stress and anxiety that had accumulated while she was battling her illness. It had been such an arduous journey, and she was so strong for fighting through everything, but he wished she didn't have to be. He wished she could lean on him and let him help instead of bearing everything on her own.

She sniffled. "It feels like I've woken up from a long nightmare."

His heart ached for her. Nightmares weren't a light topic for the both of them. It wasn't just a bad dream where they were being chased by monsters that didn't exist in real life. Their nightmares tied closely to the real world, drawing out pure terror and pain by targeting the people they loved. He had felt horrible enough when he dreamt of Haein dying, he couldn't imagine how much worse it must be for her to constantly live on the edge, fearful of when her last breath would be as her primal instinct fought to live.