welcome to trench

before

"i have"

i look at him, his brown eyes dwelling right back at me, he's nervous i can tell, he's fidgeting with his fingers and occasionally bites his lip

"tyler?"

"mhm?"

"why are you so nervous"

he tilts his head slightly and presses his eyes shut "i...i don't know"

he runs his hands through his hair and shifts against the rock "theres just so much that you don't know about me and i just...i just don't- i cant- yeah just its hard to talk about and uh- i don't want you to be scared off r anything" he shrugs

"oh tyler" i sigh "i won't be scared off" i shake my head slowly "i wont" i confirm to him

"but if its to hard or you don't want to thats okay you know, you don't owe me anything"

he tilts his head towards me "i do, i do owe you, so much" he breaths, he looks so stressed out its almost stressing me out

"hey, don't panic, we're save thats all that matters"

i try and calm him down a little

he drags his hands over his face and lets out a sigh "its unfair to you" he mumbles through his hands

i cross my legs and sit back against the rock
"i have been here before once" he says forcing himself to talk,

im bursting with questions but hes so tense i just keep quiet, he takes a deep breath

"the first time i tried to escape i was 15, i didn't even pass the tower and got dragged right back, nothing really happened, i don't think anyone cared....well second time i met josh, he saved me from...well...uh yeah he just he saved me, and we planned together how we would get out, and than we did, we got out, we found this place, these people...and- and it was great!"

i listen with great detail and im fascinated my what im hearing, i bring my knees to my chest and continue listening

"when we got here it was a much smaller group, around 15 people maybe, harriete was one of them"

the ring of her name coming out his mouth makes me bite my tongue

"she wouldn't leave me alone ever since i arrived"

i pick at my nails "sounds like me" i chuckle

he turns to me, again locking my eyes with those oh so emotional eyes "no, no nothing like you" he
states, its silent for a moment again until i look away

"well i- she uh she would follow me around and ask josh about me, it was really creepy to be honest" he chuckles

"and the jacket, it was never hers, i never gave it to her, i figured she took it after i left" he mumbles

"left?" i almost whisper

"well, not willingly, before there was not this cave to get here and after a couple days he...he came for me, i felt it coming, i know that sounds crazy but he just-

he shakes

"he- he took me by the neck and than it all went black and i woke up back...back there- and- well i...in there they-they

he hiccups struggling to talk

i place my hand on his shoulder "hey...thats enough for today okay?" i say soothingly

he stares blankly ahead blinking rapidly "hey" i say shaking him softly, he blink again and turns his head towards me "thank you for that"

he nods and slowly looks away but i tug on his sleeve making him turn back "im glad you told me, this must be so tough by yourself" i say squeezing his arm, he sniffs again nodding slightly

he gives me a slight smile and turns back staring at the stars

i debate for a moment but lay my head against his shoulder, he leans into me almost naturally
"you'll be okay" i say firmly