welcome to trench

everything

"just give him my plate"

i wave off josh and turn away from the campfire making my way towards my tent

the more away i am from the campfire the more cold it gets and i shiver slightly while digging my hands deep into my jacket, suddenly in one hand i feel feel something in the jacket, i take my hand out with it

its a dried up yellow flower, just like the petals we saw when we first arrived here, i twirl it between my fingers, it still a bright yellow, i wonder how long that has been sitting here

i smile to myself and carefully dig it back into my pocket, couple minutes later i arrive at my tent and get inside

to my surprise all of tyler his stuff is out and its just a half empty tent now, i sigh agitatedly and i search around the empty space, why does he keep doing this

no note aswell this time, this has got to be a joke, i pace around for a bit, nothing but the soft sounds my boots make on the tent, but decide i can't keep going in this weird tension and step back outside the tent

the cold air hits my face and i shiver and step a small step back for a moment

i quickly get back in the tent and get myself a thick sweater instead of this thin turtleneck, its pretty dark so nobody can see my bruise anyway, i put on the jacket and squeeze my eyes shut and convince myself i can do this and step out once again

i figure he'd be somewhere hurdled up around camp atleast so i just slouch through it

people already in their tents or still laughing in small groups, i see josh sitting a few feet away by the campfire and i decide to go around him not wanting him to know what im up to, he'd probably talk me out of it

i slip between some other tents and keep peeking around, its more dark around and i cant see very well, its less and less people the further i go

i slouch a couple more feet away and squint my eyes trying to see where im going

suddenly my leg is tripped up in some wire and before i can balance myself i faceplant right into the floor

"motherfu.." i groan trying to get up steadily but when i lift my head and i see two people looking at me "oh! uh sorry" i mutter hurriedly scrambling myself together

i can't pass them since they take up the whole passage so i just awkwardly stand there

they laugh, i don't recognize them its two boys, they could be brothers they look exactly alike "where you heading girl?" one asks still smirking

"oh just around" i say trying to play it cool, shoving my hands into my pockets

he raises an eyebrow "why don't we take you with us huh?" the other one smirks

im starting to get nervous and step back a bit, "oh uh n-no thank you" i stutter

they laugh again "oh come on don't be a bore" he says stepping closer gripping my shoulder "no really i don't want-

"shush it" i says and the other laughs again, i nervously swallow and tears brim in my eyes

"lets-

"one more word"

a voice speaks from behind me, its tyler i can tell immediately, i bite my lip trying to endure the silence, the guy lets go of me

"tyler mate! we uhh we were just messing around!" he says backing away and laughing tensely

"don't let me see you in a five miles radius around her, got it?" he says calmly, im frozen in the spot and a bit flushed

"yeah! yeah totally uhm, see ya!" he says and they awkwardly leave with their heads down, i wait till they are out of sight before i speak but he is faster

"why are you out here, its dangerous" he says still standing away from me, crossing his arms

"why is your stuff not in the tent anymore" i say

his face drops and there falls a silence again, he starts to turn away, but i grab him back by his arm harsly "stop avoiding me!" i yell a bit louder than i intended to

he swallows hard and again takes a few steps away from me "tyler please" i almost cry

"what are you doing?" i desperately try

he tucks at his hair, as fucking usual

"im just....i can't" he mutters not looking at me

i frustatingly sigh "yes you can, stop avoiding me" i stand my ground and cross my arms

"you can't just block me out like this" i say

he grits his teeth and looks away "you don't understand" he mumbles

im getting more angry by the minute and i throw my hands "what does that even mean?!" i yell while trying to force back tears

"its taking everything in me to stay away from you"

i hold my breath trying to let that thought sink in, i look at him, he's still looking away, the moonlight is shining right on us and it enhances his features ever so beautifully

"but you don't have to stay away" i whisper

he finally looks at me, he finally looks like the tyler i met my tyler, but his gaze changes quickly

"yes i do" he says

"but i can-

"no you don't understand" he says breathing heavy "look at you" he whines "i did that" tears brim in his eyes "i hurt you bad y/n" he shakes his head, tucking on his hair again

i step closer to him and he tries to step away but i grab his arm to stop him from moving "no....ty that wasn't you, okay?" he looks away his bottom lip shaking slightly

"look at me" i say

he takes a deep breath and hesitantly looks at
me "you didn't do anything to hurt me okay?" i say looking into his reddend eyes

he slowly brings his hand up to my neck running his fingers over it while his worried expression saddens

i bring my own hand up to his and pull it down slowly "not you" i whisper