In The After Life

Chapter 19

My breathing is erratic. My lungs are burning as I push myself further and further. Ignoring the salty tears that are falling from my eyes landing on my chapped lips. I close my eyes only making the matter worse.

Sirens. Blue lights. The feeling of blood dripping down my arms. The smell of male cologne on my skin. A night full of mistakes.

No music can help these memories disappear. They're too fresh. They're fresh wounds that haven't even began the healing process.

I haven't felt this bad.....since before it happened.

Why did I have to do this to myself?

I'm the only one to blame for what happened that night, no one else.

My eyes flutter open unaware that I had fallen into such a deep sleep. Nightmares are common but I guess me killing Ivan triggered it. Everyone is asleep bar Draven who is driving. He must be tired.

"I can drive" I thought it would startle him but it was like he knew that I was awake. My hand was still wrapped into Miles but had got a horrible clamminess to it. I gently pull away and his hand falls by his leg.

"It's fine I can last a few more hours" I can see the dark circles under his eyes and even if he could I don't want to risk it. Driving tired is so dangerous.

"Im sure you could but I won't be getting anymore sleep so I might as well be useful" to be honest when I'm awake like this driving is soothing for me. The endless road it just clears your head.

He flicks his eyes up at me before coming to a slow stop. I now realise that I'm in the middle so it's going to be a mission getting out without waking anyone. "Crawl into the front" he says as he opens the door and steps out

I stealthily manoeuvre as to not wake anyone into the front seat. I then realise he's going to have to get into the back so I step out the car so he can go in how I got out. It feels good to stretch my legs after they've been bunched up.

"Actually......if your boyfriend wakes up after falling asleep with you next to him to then me who he doesn't like I don't feel will end well" I roll my eyes at him and his assumption

I'm pretty sure I have said he's not my boyfriend but yet again I can't remember. "Not my boyfriend but I should warn you he loves to cuddle and you seem like his type too" I did not mean for that last part to come out

He's going to be so mad if he knew I slipped up. "His type?" he seems to get all flustered as if he doesn't want to make a judgment about him.

"Miles is everyone's type" I smile as I remember the memory of when he told me how he only lives once and was going to get the best of both worlds.

He's perfect to me so I don't see why he wouldn't be to others but he asked me to never tell a soul. "I shouldn't even had said anything it wasn't my secret to tell so just forget it and if you breath a word or say anything out of line I won't hesitate to run you over"

He holds his hands up " Are you sure you don't need anymore sleep?" I move away from the door and to the front bonnet and lean against it. Can he just hurry up and get in the car. Of course he doesn't though as I can feel his eyes on me.

I squint my eyes at the road sign not too far from the car. I have no idea where we are but we are heading onto a motorway soon which can lead to anywhere. "We should get the map and find out the route now. We're heading to a motorway which is most likely grid locked just without the people. So if we need to turn around it's better to do so now"