Forever Luna

Track

verb ~ follow the course of someone or something to find them
CHARLIE

Fear.

It was an icy emotion.

It gripped your chest in a secure lock, impossible to melt or break with your bare hands. Its coldness chilled your bones, stilled your blood until your heart constricted and spluttered with complaint.

Guilt.

Guilt was the opposite.

It burned in your gut, tensing your abdomen and gripping your throat. It made you struggle to breathe, to think any rational thoughts other than blame.

It was my fault.

I slept too heavily last night.

I got too close.

I should've heard her.

Should've heard the footsteps.

But without a bond link, we were just two wolves.

Two wolves that barely spoke to each other.

I was just a fly on the horse's mane, or a bird on the hippo's back.

An observer, barely a friend.

The breeze through the trees.

I had no meaning.

No use.

I was extra weight. Extra feet to make noise. An extra mouth to feed. An extra scent.

Just an extra. Never a necessary.

Perhaps that is why she was gone.

Perhaps I wasn't good enough to be around.

Guilt.

I forced her away, didn't I?

But she was alone. And wild. With no sense of direction or wolf etiquette, she was a newborn traipsing through a land that never ended.

Would she stop at the ocean? Would she turn back? For me? For her?

Where would she go now?

What if she was in a nasty fight? What if someone had her trapped?

Fear.

What if she got hurt and I wasn't there to help her?

I couldn't let it happen.

Despite the similar emotions, I didn't linger long. With that ice lock on my heart and the burning in my gut, I followed her scent.

She left a while ago.

Not long after I fell asleep.

Thankfully, it hadn't rained yet, but it was coming and I needed to catch up with her before her scent was lost forever.

My mind ran with thought, going over everything that happened less than a day ago. The sun was moving west, and I was no closer to finding her.

She must've not even slept to cover so much ground. I never fell asleep first, but last night she had exhausted me. We ran for the entire fucking afternoon, before we chased a herd of deer 'for fun'. We didn't eat until exhausted, and I barely cared what I ate before I fell onto my stomach.

I must've just fell asleep instantly.

I don't even remember.

I was too malnourished to run so long, my body just shut down.