Forever Luna

Concern

noun ~ a worried or nervous feeling about something

PHOENIX

Returning from the Valborga pack came with a large amount of relief. My blood pressure had been the highest it has since I found out Nova was pregnant again. Knowing she was on the verge of passing out at any moment was just as bad as knowing she couldn't stomach any food without feeling sick.

I wanted to feed her until she was triple the size. I wanted her to stay in bed as I waited for her every call.

But Nova was stubborn. And Goddess knows I had it in for me when the twins were older. Four against one would not be easy. The bond was forming between my unborn child, and despite how much Nova didn't want to know what this one was, I couldn't help but latch onto it. With the twins, I had been uncertain, but I couldn't help compare the similarities and differences between the two pregnancies.

We were on the plane now, a stubborn feat thanks to Gaia. She was clever with her wording, and the moment she told me it would be safer to travel by vehicle, because of the baby, I had to agree. I knew she was manipulating my thought process, of course. I wasn't that blind to her ploys.

I was supposed to be sleeping, supposed to be curled up beside my mate in the bedroom at the back of the plane. But I couldn't. I held her until she drifted off, but my mind wouldn't shut down. She was exhausted a lot lately, but I wasn't. It wasn't even midnight, so not that late.

So, I kept telling myself.

My stubborn little mate had turned me into a worrier.

I am worried about her safety. For her mind. I am worried about our children and their futures.

I've never been a worrier before. I always closed off the part of my mind that let me feel such things. To show such a vulnerable emotion would end up with more consequence than good. And anyone could easily exploit fear and anxiety.

And because of that, my grey scale life turned to colour. Things I never noticed before, shadows and dark colours that waited. The colour that now glossed my eyes was showing my weakness. Too many colours, too many things to focus on.

People knew I'd do anything to protect my pack and my family. We were one. That was the point of a pack.

It appeared I wasn't the only one who recognised the vulnerability having children had caused us.

They wanted lycan blood.

They wanted to turn human to wolf.

They wanted her children for their gain.

It was sick.

The entire fucking world had their reasons, and all of it always came down to power. I feared it would never end, and the ache in my chest only grew as I worried about how much longer I would be around.

Would I live to my hundreds to be with my eternal mate?

Or would I perish in a war that had no meaning?

My skin tightened as I forced down a shift.

I wouldn't let it get to that. I wouldn't put myself or my pack in harm.

Today, Nova publicly showed her talent to wolves we did not know well. No doubt the whispers would pass that she truly was so gifted. I wondered how they would twist it; wondered what they would say behind closed doors.

In some ways, I wish she had something simple. I wish she was like her brother. Pollux was strong and wise for such a young male, and his gift was subtle enough that people wouldn't want it. The only thing they'd want from him was his blood; not his bite nor his children, because he didn't pose the threat that Nova did.