GOD HAS SPOKEN Series: Book 5: I Hope If You Ever Hear my Name...

The Missing Word - Maybe.

Noise: Maybe.

This is the absolute truth of God - I have extreme trauma and terror from this word... maybe.
I refuse to use it or to ever say it - not once have you ever known me to say the word "maybe". This wasn't a word said to me that caused me the terror and truame, nobody used it in a petrifying speech to me if that was what you thought.
It was...... the name of a person......... Christine Maybee was when Noise, my very first true love, went missing. When he spoke to me again years later.......... he dissapeared again after the word "maybe" was said in conversation by somebody who was against me....... and he never returned.

I am in love with this man. I have known him from birth, i have known him again from 12 years old when he saved my life, and again when i was 19 years old when he saved my childrens lives. It is because of Theodore that I am determined to do all of this work, to, in return, save his life.

I never knew Noises name. His identity was hidden from me. His e-mail address was clockwork.angels, but this is ALL I know about his identity - an e-mail address lost in time, and i have explained this. He and i were in a relationship, and from one day to the next, we broke up and it said on his account that he was in a relationsip with christine maybee.

I cried and cried and cried hysterically for about 5 hours in the pitch black of a carpark late at night collapsing on stones and rubble. A murderer was behing me with a bloody knife, a heap of bodies behind him that were then burried in the woods.....

I tried as hard as i could do so to get over my love for him, but he is...... my true love... i remember NLP with Teresa Pignatelli. We had sheets of paper with all my different worst fears on it, and i put one as the Angel of Time's worst fear: porcelain dolls, and when on it...... i couldn't move at all, but i did, and i was especially paralized stepping on and past the spiders one, and the last page was............ leaving noise......... and i COULDN'T DO IT: I couldn't move AT ALL, well, we spent 45 minutes with me even being PUSHED and led by hand off it and i couldn't budge to ever leave him and i burst out crying and i said, "It's impossible!!!!!!!! He's too perfect!!!!!!!!!!"

Finally, i was told we'd simply keep working on getting over clockwork angels over the next dozen sessions if need be, and got down to the animal guidence cards where i got an eagle as my card......... His favorite animal is.... a bird of pray.

teresa sat me down at the end of that NLP session, took my hands and asked me a question.........

"What happened, Kimbey? What happened to you when you were so young that you don't remember?"

"I don't know...."

To this day, i still don't know what happened to me............ i don't remember.

Perhaps........... somebody said the word maybe, and perhaps..... it was him.... and he dissapeared after that and left me when i was a tiny newborn baby.

Amen.

ps. do you think............ if i say it..... i'll die?