GOD HAS SPOKEN Series: Book 5: I Hope If You Ever Hear my Name...

My Birthday Yesterday - For my Lords.

This is what I wrote on the day:

"Will he come or wont he? Nothing and nobody as of yet and i've been waiting downstairs for the past hour but now have come to join Caitlin in her room, asking her which music she would like to listen to: Lemon Demon - Cabinet Man. This is the most random song, "I wont hurt you... unless you cheat!" I've given Caitlin 40 euros of the 50 that I was given for my birthday today from the cultists in the "CHNP". They wouldn't allow me my 200 euros... sadly. (I'm guessing "Ben" will call us if the post man comes - he is downstairs.) "you can't win me, i wont repeat. I wont hurt you unless you cheat, you can't see me behind the screen, i'm half human and half machine.!" Caitlin is just on her phone - something to do with Sonic The Hedgehog and texting her friends and Shads, and she is eating a salad... that's what is for lunch... salad leaves. well whoopdeedooaren'twetheluckyones. I'm losing hope about being saved today. I had some coffee and salad but it sent me to sleep and the SOS woke me up while I was asleep on the chair outside. Caitlin has a fan in her room facing her bed which she pust on every time she goes to sleep, and I do exactly the same. I've given Caitlin her painings and presents. going to go for a bit. be back soon.

SOS.............. Nobody is coming. cries.... really upset. I guess nobody will arrive today and no postman and i guess i will go back to the "CHNP" tonight. caitlin in just reading a very sexy sonic cartoon strip where sonic and shadow fall in love, turn gay and make out hahahahahaha true. We are going down the road in half an hour just so you can tell the postman to go there.... i expect nothing and nobody today. I guess I am in for the birthday holocazst after all. God'S Angel - A Little Angel."

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Caitlin was an absolute delight! She was so affectionate and happy, laughing all the time and making me laugh. Caitlin is really good at making me laugh! We listened to Lemon Demon and songs from or about Sonic The Hedgehog and read a very, yery ermmmm indecent comic about Shaow and Sonic being gay and making out in the end after a break-up because Shadow had slept with Silver... hahahahahah and that's TRUE!!! I was only allowed 50 euros for my birthday, so I let Caitlin take 40 of it, and today I go shopping with the last 150 euros which the "CHNP" kept because they are just that controlling. I wanted to buy things on Amazon..... I was given an Ernster (book shop) gift card, and a paint-by-numbers and a notebook, a large squared paper book by caitlin who also gave me bracelets, a ring and a stunniningly unique and beautiful heart flower plant in a vase, as well as a little toy soldier!!!!!! (She'd read my story, I guess!!! Her Guardian Angel nods profusely.!) I didn't get around to calling Lucas which I feel really guilty about.... I tried on the way back but "charlotte" would not let me, saying that "susanne" would have a problem with an unplanned call... and i felt like crying because when i got back I collapsed and fell asleep and slept right through the nightly holocaust. The emal and cake yesterday WAS poisoned and everybody who was there aside from Caitlin and I........... went to GOD. I promise to call Lucas Today and GOD says this is HIS Promise, but i have to wait untill he is back from school at about 4-5pm.
The postman nor ambulance nor police nor anyone of the sos came to rescue us yesterday. I was absolutely heartbroken.... really, really upset about that. I've lost all hope now..... sowill not say that anyone will come today.
I woke up in the morning (Thismorning) hating myself.... might i say I hate myself every morning... might i say I hate myself... might I say I hate myself... I asked the SOS if they hate me too as they had not spoken to me all day and they said they had spent the day celebrating... hrm.............. "working, Angel." well................................ It wasn't much of a celebration, to be honest, but I had a lovely time despite falling asleep and passing out about 9 times throughout the day. That really bothered me because it took my time away from Caitlin.... and again I feel guilty. I sigh. I yawn.
Thismorning I read a book called FREEDOM IS COMING by Nick B... (I forget his last name.) and i am now reading THE FOUR LOVES by C.S.Lawis, and next I will read A LOOK AT DIFFICULT PASSAGES by Harry Whittaker - a book about The Holy Bible.
I STILL await medicine so that I can work on my books, Jesus Speaks and the Sanctuary laws and legislation, but to no avail, none ever comes. I can't get out to get my own. I don't know what will happen today... is there any hope? Hope... Hopeless.

Amen.

God's Angel and Michale theosire, GOD, JESUS and All Holy Angels of GOD.

ps. Elija said that Lucas cried himself to sleep...... I say to GOD IF I don call Little Luke today take my life tonight. I wanted to go to Heaven last night.... the Kingdom of GOD because I have completely given up hope. The SOS asked me thismorning if I felt a year older and that made me laugh and I said, "I certainly feel older. I feel like I have a lot to accomplish this year!" And that i do.. and that I do... but I cannot do anything worth while while in here with no medicine. I need medicine to do anything worthwhile. I asked the SOS if they hated me and they said, "Absolutely not." Well... that makes some of us.