Mazzaroth - The Only Thing I Have Left Of You

8th September, 1988

If L wants to play such a childish game, I have no valid reason to back down because I am not going to lose and confirm the unfounded belief of his superiority. However, I intend to act justly and rationally without going to an 11-year-old to ask for explanations.

Calling himself a 'genius', you would think that L would never do something so inconsiderate. Still, he did, asking Lex the reason for my behaviour towards him, as if he had lived in the same house as me and knew perfectly every facet of my past as well as every corner of my mind.

I haven't formally introduced Lex, but I don't have much to say about him. We are just fellow rank mates, and he is a kind person to everyone.

Returning to L, I am not going to do as he did. Instead, I will go directly to the one who has supreme power, so to speak and settle the matter once and for all. I will force him to make it so that I no longer have to have him around.

I wanted to do that yesterday, but Roger reported that Watari was rather busy at the time and that I could come by later if the matter was critical, and I would have done it, except that Rae and Ayla wanted to 'make up' for what happened at lunch.

They didn't say those specific words because they don't believe they did anything wrong, but I think that was their intent unless they wanted to see if that episode changed our relationship. A rather ridiculous idea, honestly, because I don't allow third parties, insignificant as L is, to intrude in any way on a friendship that I've been nurturing for almost two years.

It would be stupid of me because my lies are what do not allow them to understand my point of view, so they are not to blame for acting in the way they wish. I would certainly prefer that they ignore L, mistreat him, and demand his transfer, but that would not be rational because I have not been able to fully convince them of what a danger L is to the Wammy's House and, furthermore, they are part of his project.

However, their attempt to calm me down was relatively poor because they mentioned L a couple of times, and I had to play dumb. I expected them to ask for more explanation about my reaction, but it didn't happen, probably because they think I resent him for not being picked, and no matter how many times I repeat that, even if I had the chance, I would never have been part of it, they are not going to believe me.

Lex isn't part of it either. Although apparently, a friend of his is a member, and from what he told him, it's strange as heck. He could not give him detailed information about it. The only shared aspect of the project is that L assigned them letters as aliases. Basically, he erased their identity again to make them an alphabet – so to speak, since it's not exactly 26 people taking part. It's a lot less.

And he's not some kind of God, is he?

His friend reiterated several times that L is really a genius, saying that he has proven it somehow. I don't know how, and I don't want to know, but it is plausible to think that he has solved a case or similar since his intelligence is reportedly related to deduction and logic.

If I want to be sure of my hypothesis, I have to check all the cases solved in the last year, but that is a rather impossible task. I cannot access police records, and those reported on television or in newspapers do not communicate all the minutiae, so they may not have referred to a mysterious 'L', who perhaps did not even use that designation of his.

On top of that, I have the impression that L is not from this country, as Watari made a long journey to retrieve him. It took longer than a regular drive in the north of England, counting possible traffic, fluctuating speed, and other reasons for delay, so it is natural for me to think he is from Scotland, but I have no proof. I can't even ask him directly because he wouldn't answer me.