Grow To Love You

Chapter 30: Everthings Out

He sat in frozen in silence as I wept. He hates me. Why wouldn't he?
"Pr...pregnant? Wh-what? How?" He sounded so shocked and confused.
"I'm sorry," My tears soaked his shirt.
"I-I don't understand," He stuttered. "How are you pregnant?" He muttered in shock. I stayed quiet, not wanting him to spin out of control. He pushed me off him and stood up. Pacing back and forth, muttering under his breath as I watching from the bed still crying.
"Who?" He's stopped pacing and turned to me. I bit my lip and looked away. "Who was it Onika?!" He shouted at me. I jumped at his sudden change of tone.
"J-J...J-Jay," I stuttered in fear of his reaction.
"Jay?! Jay fucking Fens?!" He shouted again. "Why the fuck would you do that?!" I pulled my knees to my chest and hid my face. "Him of all people!" He kept shouting. He wouldn't stop. I really wish he would. I don't want anyone else knowing right now. He's scaring me. He never shouts at me. I know what he's like when he gets angry. I've see what he can do.
"I'm sorry," I said over and over. He stopped after a few minutes of shouting, obviously out of breath and energy to shout any more. He sat on the edge of the bed. His head was in his hands.
"Why would you do this?" He asked quietly.
"I-I don't know, I'm sorry, I di-"
"I don't wanna hear your excuses. You did what you did. There's no going back on it," He interrupted. "I just really cannot believe you would do this. You told me you wasn't ready. What made you ready to shag that fuck but not me?" He asked. Anger was evident in his voice but he kept calm. I had to tell him. I had to. It's the right thing to do. I have to tell him the truth no matter what he may do. I have to.
"I-I didn't want to," I muttered.
"You didn't want to?" He asked breathlessly. I nodded, still looking down. "You didn't want to have sex with your own boyfriend but you were perfectly fine fucking him?!" He began shouting again. No...he's got it all wrong. I began shaking my head furiously. I couldn't take any more. I had to tell him straight. I had to tell him everything.
"No!" I screamed. He froze and turned to me. I looked up at him breathing hard. "I-I did-" I was cut off again.
"Is everything ok?!" Sandi and Jade rushed in, worry a food both their faces.
"We're ok, we just have something to discuss," Drake Told his mother.
"Nic, you ok?" Jade asked. I nodded.
"Are you sure? Do you wanna stay here or come with us?" Sandi asked.
"W-we just need to talk, we'll b-be fine," I smiled weakly.
"Ok, well if I hear one more person shouting or screaming, this is over," Sandi warned before leaving. We sat in silence for a few moment before Drake spoke.
"Do you wanna explain?" He asked, turned away from me.
"I didn't want to...to y-you know...h-have s-s...sex," I stuttered, nervous telling him.
"Yeah, I got that part," I could tell he was speaking through clenched teeth. He wasn't understanding.
"With Jay...I didn't want to...with Jay," I spoke quietly before resting my forehead on my knees.
"Wait...you didn't wanna have sex with Jay?" His tone had softened a little but I was still scared. I shook my head.
"I didn't," I whispered as tears fell from my eyes.
"Onika," I felt the bed move and him grab my hands. I flinched away from his sudden contact. He lifted my head and tried looking in my eyes. "Onika...look at me," I bit my lip and looked at him through my tear filled eyes. "Did he rape you?" He asked ever so gently. I looked away and shrugged. "Tell me what happened," He told me quietly. I took a deep breath and began.
"I went to his house. Normally the other guys are there but that night he told them not to come. We smoked and drank for a bit until he took me upstairs. He normally takes me upstairs to give me some stuff-"
"What stuff?"He asked. I bit my lip before answering.
"Pills and weed," I heard him sigh before telling me to carry on. "So um...I thought that's what we was doing. I laid on his bed like I normally do just to wait for him and normally after he gives me them we stay and talk for a bit before going back down stairs. He gave me the stuff in my pocket. I went to sit up b-but he wouldn't let me," My tears began to get heavier. "He kept kissing my neck. I told him no. He knew I with you. I told him to stop because I was with you. He told me to be quiet and r-relax. I couldn't move. He was so heavy and s-strong. I tried so hard to get him off me it I c-couldn't. I couldn't fight him off and the more I tried the tighter he held me. I'm so sorry Aubrey, I tried so much! I gave up, I thought maybe if I just let him it wouldn't hurt as much. I hated it. I hated every moment of it," I cried. Aubrey pulled me into his chest. "No," I pushed him away. "I cheated on you...I'm a dirty cheat...you don't deserve me...if I had tried harder...it wouldn't have happened," I wept. He still pulled me back into his arms.
"You're not a cheat at all, don't think that at all," He stroked my head as he gently rocked me. I couldn't stop crying. I don't know how long I was crying for but I do know I tired my self out. I fell asleep in Aubrey's arms. When I woke up, I was still in his bed but he wasn't. He wasn't anywhere in the room. I left his room and went up to find him but when I couldn't find him I began to get worried.
"D-do you know where Aubrey is?" I asked Sandi.
"He went out about 15 minutes ago. Are you ok honey?" She asked.
"Yeah, I'm ok," I smiled.
"What were you and Aubrey...discussing?" She asked. Shit!
"Oh...um...it's nothing now, just a misunderstanding, we're ok now," I think.