Grow To Love You

Chapter 31: Breaking Point

"How you feeling?" I asked Onika as she returned from the bathroom. She is now into her 6th week of her pregnancy and having all the symptoms.
"Ok," She replied, getting back into my bed. I ran my hand over her stomach. It was still pretty flat but held a small bump. "I feel so hot," She sighed as she pushed the covers off of her body, revealing her small shorts and white tank top that my hand was under.
"Want me to go get you a drink?" I asked her.
"Yeah...please," She was still a little quiet around us but she hasn't been in a good place recently so she needs time to heal. I kissed the side of her head before leaving the room. Deciding that just a glass of water would be good, I filled a pint glass before returning downstairs.
"Thanks," She sat up crossed legged and took big gulps from the glass before setting it down.
"You tired?" I asked as she let out a big yawn.
"Yeah, I'm gonna sleep," She muttered as she laid back down and closed her eyes.
"Do you not wanna go sleep in your bed?" She is becoming very agitated in the night, waking up every few hours with a different problem with being in my room. She didn't reply to me so I thought maybe I could just go sleep in her room, maybe she'll have less to complain about then. I grabbed my phone off the bed and left the room to sleep in Onikas.
She hadn't slept in here in a while. The last time was probably 5 or 6 nights ago but only because she fell asleep whilst waiting for me to finish fixing the toilet she somehow broke.
I pulled the pink covers back and climbed in, falling asleep after about 10 minutes.

Nicki's POV

I woke up alone in Aubrey's bed, the room pitch black. Feeling around the bed I didn't find Aubrey. I pouted before pushing the covers off my and blindly walked out of the room. As I walked up the stairs I felt a cold breeze hit my barely covered body. I pulled my top down over my small bump. The thoughts and memories instantly entered me. The night it happened. That awful night. I placed my hand over my stomach as I ignored the sickness feeling. Continuing upstairs to find Aubrey, I assumed he was in my room if he was sleeping. I pushed open the door and squinted through the darkness. Failing to see anything, I held my hands out as I slowly walked forward to my bed. My hands hit the end of my bed and I climbed on, making my way to the other end. I could feel Aubrey asleep next me as I slid in and curled up to him. His arm instantly wrap around my body holding me close.
"What you doing here," He whisper in my ear.
"I don't wanna sleep alone," I kissed his lips.
"Ok," I moved closer and shut my eyes before drifting back to sleep.

I woke up about 5 hours later, still curled up in Aubrey's arms. He was still asleep. I brought my hand up to his face and stroked the slight stubble on his face. His lips twitched a little before he opened his eyes.
"Good morning beautiful," He beamed.
"Morning," I smiled back. "I love you," I added.
"I love you too," He replied before kissing my nose.
"I don't deserve you," I looked down to his chest. "You deserve so much better,"
"What are you talking about? Don't say that, that's not true at all," Aubrey held my head against his chest as he whispered small compliments to me. I could feel tears building in my eyes. He kept on and I couldn't keep it in any more and let my tears fall. "Hey, hey, hey...what's wrong?" He pulled me away and I could tell he was trying to look in my eyes but I wouldn't let him. "What's wrong beautiful?" He asked again as he stroked my hair.
"You're too good to me...I didn't one of the worst things a girlfriend could do...and you're here supporting me a-and saying all these good things about me," I broke and let out a loud cry as I threw my self into his chest once again, where I continued to cry.
"You did nothing wrong, please understand that. Everything that happened that night...do not blame yourself...do not think you are in the wrong. Please understand that. You did nothing wrong at all...don't ever think you did," I felt a wetness on my head. It wasn't until then I realised I wasn't the only one crying. Aubrey was crying. He was crying because of me. He was crying because I was upset.
"I'm sorry," I apologised through my tears into his wet chest.
"Don't apologise, there is nothing you need to apologise for," He arm tightened around me as I felt him start to shake.
"Aubrey...please don't cry, please," I begged as I kissed his chest multiple times. "Please...Please Aubrey," I pulled out of his grasp and straddled him as I held his face in my hands. His eyes red, cheeks wet, lip trembling. He'd broken. He squeezed his eyes shut and attempted to calm down but failed, breaking into more tears.
"I just hate seeing you so upset...a-and hearing yo-you say stuff like it-it's your fault, whe-when it isn't at-t all. I jus-st what you t-to be ha-appy," I wiped away his tears as mine continued to fall. "I just want you to be happy," He wept, his hands covering his face. Seeing him like this broke my heart. I'd never seen him like this before. Yeah I'd seen him cry before but nothing like this, only a few tears. Not breaking down like this. He must feel terrible.
"Please don't cry," I laid down on top of him, my head resting on his chest. "I love you," I pulled his arm down and kissed his hand. "I love you so much. I never knew it upset you so much...me being like this...but I promise you, I will get better...I promise you," I pushed my self up and wiped his tears away once again. "I love you and always will. You make me so happy and I know for a fact that if you weren't here with me...I wouldn't be nearly as well as I am now. You are my life," I brushed away my falling tears before placing my hands around his face again. I lowered my lips on to his a kissed him slowly whilst he held the back of my neck. He wiped away his tears as I lifted away a little, still close but leaving only a few millimetres between our faces.
"You mean everything to me, I wish there was something I could do," He sniffed. I dried his eyes once again before kissing under each one.
"You are doing something, you're staying by me and supporting me. That's all I could ever wish for in this situation. Don't think you aren't doing enough because you are," I felt his hands grip my waist and his thumbs rub small circles under my shirt.
"I promise you I will never leave you, I will always be here to support you and be here for you," He promised me with a weak smile.
"And I promise you the same," I smiled back. We stayed in the same position, me straddling Aubrey as he held my waist, smiling at each other for a good few minutes. Even though no words were spoken, the conversation was louder than ever. "I really do love you Aubrey," I sighed happily before resting my head on his shoulder so I could look at him.
"And I really love you too," He kissed my forehead as he put his arms around me.
"Can we just stay here...in this moment...right now...forever...for the rest of our lives," I spoke quietly as I watch Aubrey's chest rise and fall.
"If it were only possible," He muttered in reply.
"You falling asleep?" I asked due to his tired voice.
"Yeah...I didn't sleep well last night," I could tell he was lying.
"Don't lie to me...crying makes you tired, I know. Don't be afraid of me ever judging you or thinking you are less of a man, I would never think that of you. I want you to show your emotions to me at least...it's not good keeping it in...I also know that from experience," I told him, hoping he wasn't feeling stupid or anything like that for breaking down in front of me. As awful as it sounds, I'm glad he did. It gave him a chance to let it out, to let me know how he was feeling deep inside, to know how much he cares about me.
"Thank you," He turned and smiled to me before shutting his eyes and falling asleep. I watched him as he slept peacefully. I never knew how much this upset Aubrey seeing me like this, knowing I'm hurting inside, using drugs, isolating myself and doing terrible things to my self. I knew he'd probably be upset me being this way but I never thought he'd be anything close to this. It makes me feel terrible. I was so selfish to not see I was hurting the people I love. I shouldn't have isolated myself like that. I shouldn't have harmed myself like that. I should've gone a different way around it. I should've talked to Aubrey. I should have taken better care of myself. I should've not got back into contact with Jay. I shouldn't have gone upstairs with him. I shouldn't have laid on his bed. I should have tried harder. I should've...should have...I shouldn't have let it all get to me so bad then I wouldn't be in this situation. I sighed thinking of all the things that I shouldn't and should've done. Glancing around my room, I saw the plastic bag. I should really get rid of that...as well as the bottles. They're just temptations and a disaster waiting to happen. Deciding to do it later, I settled comfortably in Aubrey's arms and watched him sleep before I fell into a light nap.
I woke up to Aubrey moving underneath me, failing not to disturb me.
"Sorry, did I wake?" He apologised as he moved from underneath me.
"It's fine," I smiled. He smiled back at me. I rolled onto my back and stretched, letting out a loud groan.
"You know you sound like a bear when you do that," Aubrey chuckled.
"You know you look like a bear with that beard," I giggled back. He lent over me and lowered his face closer to mine.
"Grrrr," He growled into my neck, tickling me in the process making me squirm.
"Stop!!!" I screamed through my laughter. "That tickles!" Tears poured down my face from laughter as I continued squirming to get out from underneath him.
"Grrrr!" He continued growling, tickling me even more. I tried pushing him away but failed.
"You're tickling me!" He soon stopped but stayed hovering over me. I folded my lips in, exposing my dimples as he made me nervous. "Stop staring at me...you make me nervous," I whispered innocently.
"Why?" He licked his lips as he lowered his face closer.
"Stop..." I breathed, getting more nervous but also...turned on. He bit his lip just before placing them on my own. He worked slowly, holding my head in one hand and my waist in the other. "Aubrey," I moaned as he kissed my neck. He continued down my neck to my chest were he gently nipped the top of my breast. "Oh my...Aubrey," I moaned as I held his head to my chest. We should really stop but...it felt too good. Therefore I let him continue down my body till he reached my shorts.
"You ready?" He asked placing a kiss above my shirts.
"Yesss," I hissed as I bucked my hips slightly. He slowly rolled my shorts down as he kissed my thighs, getting closer and closer to my centre. Once he'd removed my shorts, he placed kisses over my underwear, making me squirm once again. "Aubrey..." I moaned, holding his head between my thighs. Placing a last kiss through my underwear, he finally pulled them off before licking through my folds. "Shit!" I gripped the sheets as he repeated licking me. "Fuck Aubrey," I moaned as he kissed my clit. All of a sudden I got a sick guilt feeling in my stomach, putting me off. Memories of that night came flooding back. "Aubrey stop," I tried to push his head away but failed. Tears brimmed my eyes. "Please stop...Drake," I wept. He lifted his head and looked into my eyes.
"Oh 'Nika what's wrong?" He sat up and over toward me. I pushed him away and pulled my shorts on before escaping to my bathroom. Sliding down the door, I broke into tears, thinking of that night and how I was to weak to stop him. I couldn't even get Aubrey to stop at first.

Drake's POV

I sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. I really wish Onika was happy. I hate to see her breaking down like that, to have that memory in her thoughts. Standing up from the bed, I made my way to the bathroom door and knocked lightly.
"Nic? Onika?" I called through the door. I heard her sniff and let out a small cry. "You wanna let me in?" I asked. I could hear her crying through the door but she didn't reply. Please not again. Please don't let her isolate her self again. Please don't let her go back to how she was, she was only just getting better. Please anything but that.