Grow To Love You

Chapter 35: Over

It's been a couple days and Nicki has just got released from the hospital. We were now just arriving back home. Nicki had eaten a little in hospital, she ate at least a small meal a day after saying she can't eat a lot. She never said why, I'm just guessing it's because she hasn't been eating much recently and her body's got used to small amounts of food. I hope we can get her back eating normally we can't have her having an eating disorder as well. Hopefully without the stress of being pregnant and everything that came with that helps her to get better, along with her probably getting to be ok with everything that happened with her family.
We had just got home and as soon as we got through the door, Nicki went straight upstairs to her room. I heard my mother sigh before heading into the lounge.
"Hey, I think it's good if we talk about Onika...and what we gonna do," I suggested as I took a seat opposite my mother.
"Yeah, first off though, tell me about Onika being pregnant," She had a sort of stern look on her face as she spoke.
"Ok, first off, it's not mine...well...wasn't mine," My mother had a relieved but curious and confused look on her face. "It was this guy called Jay, it was his baby," I sighed. "If I tell you all of this you promise not to flip on Onika or do something crazy and kick her out. She's not good right now, I need you to promise me," I asked her.
"Ok, I promise I won't do nothing crazy but I can't promise I won't be mad and want to talk to her about it," I guess that's as good as I'd get.
"Ok, well when Onika started to feeling crappy, she started going over to his house at night. The two and his mates would drink alcohol and smoke and pop pills and stuff," I could see my mother getting mad and looking very disappointed. "She went over one night, the last night she went. Only Jay was there, they got drunk and Jay took her upstairs like he normally does to give her pills and weed. She was laid on his bed and Jay climbed on top of her and took advantage. Nicki told him to stop, he knew she was with me. She tried to push him off but his grip just tightened and it hurt her more. So...she just laid there," By now, my mother had tears running down her cheeks with her hand clamped over her mouth. "He got her pregnant. She found out a few weeks later.  She told me and I thought she cheated on me. I was furious. She didn't tell me she was raped. She just kept calling herself a dirty cheat. That was the day you and Jade came in when we was shouting. I finally understood that he raped her. I told her I wasn't mad, I just misunderstood. That's why she was always wearing hoodies and throwing up," I looked at my mother to say something.
"I wish you would have said something. I can't believe she has had that weighing on her mind all this time and the only person she told was you, no wonder she's not been herself," She had look of realisation on her face.
"I should also tell you, I took her to the doctor I went to, she's been going once a week. I asked him what he thought was going on and he told me that Onika has probably developed a mental illness...depression," I informed her.
"Is there anyway we can help her?" My mother asked.
"All I know is that he can prescribe her some anti depressants to help her stop being so depressed. I reckon we can help her though, just by making her happy and letting her see the positive sides of life," I said hopefully but my mother shook her head.
"Aubrey, depression can't be cured just like that. Making her happy for one day is not going to stop her depression. Telling her all the good things in life isn't going to stop the negative thoughts. Being there to hold her isn't going to stop her from getting upset. It's a long process. She may never be free from depression but we can help her learn to live with it and try and help her with some strategies so the depression doesn't hit her too hard. Just please don't get frustrated when you feel like you done everything and she's still depressed," That hit me hard. She can't just be sad all her life. That's awful! I will not give up on making her happy, no matter how long it takes.
"I just thought...it was like just being really upset for a while and then like we could just cheer her up and soon she'll be fine again. I never knew it was like that," I looked away and wiped my eyes clear of tears.
"She could probably go for days feeling fine and then one day just feel awful for no reason. There's no knowing when it's gonna hit her. Like right now, it seems to be most if not all the time. Hopefully we can help her so it's not as much. We can help her, just not cure her," I listened to my mother and took in all that she said.
"How do you know all this?" I asked.
"I had a friend, she had depression. We were friends before you were alive. Unfortunately, depression got the better of her and she took her life...but don't you worry, I will never let Onika get to that point and nether will you," I nodded in agreement, now petrified that Onika could leave us forever and anytime.
"I-I'm gonna go see how she's doing," I stood up and wiped my face clear.
"Ok, her I'll be wanting to talk to her some point today," My mother told me.
"Ok, if it's about the drugs and things, don't go too hard," I asked of her.
"I won't Aubrey, I promise," With that I left the room and made my way up to Nicki's room. I knocked and heard her quietly tell me to come in.
"What do you want?" She mumbled from under her covers.
"I was just seeing how you was doing," I replied as I sat I the end of her bed.
"I'm fine," She replied.
"Do you wanna tell me the truth now?" I asked. I moved my hand and tried to pull the cover from her face but she quickly snatched it up.
"I'm fine, now leave," Her voice held so much hurt. I wanted to make her happy but anything I did right now apart from leave was gonna piss her off. I stood up off the bed and left. Just as I was closing the door behind me, she spoke. "And Drake," She started. "We're over,"
I stood in the door way frozen to the spot, unable to process what she just said.
"W-what?" I stuttered. She didn't reply, she just stayed wrapped up under all her covers. "Onika, talk to me," I ran over to her bed as tears rushed down my face. "Baby, what are you talking about?" I asked, trying to pull the covers off of her. She failed to cover herself up and her face was now exposed to me. Her face held no expression at all.
"Leave me alone," She tried to turn over but I caught her before she could. "Get off me," She pulled away from me and turned. "We are not together Aubrey, you're not my boyfriend. Now please leave," She told me clearly. No, this can't be happening right now. She's needs me!
"Why?" I asked.
"Because...I don't love you anymore," My heart shattered. She did not just say that. I pushed my self up and left. I can't stay or I'll flip. I have to leave. I called Ryan and asked him to pick me up.