Cold love {teacherxstudent, wlw}

Part 60

*Valentina's POV*

We are sitting on the couch, okay me and Ben are sitting on the couch, Danielle's head is on my lap.

She fell asleep around 1 hour into the film, I'm playing with her hair, I know she hasn't been able to sleep in the last few days, I'm just glad she can finally rest a little.

"You know it's impossible to get through a movie with Dani, she always falls asleep during it" Ben says.

"I wouldn't know this is my first time seeing a movie with her" I shrug, yeah so we don't watch movies in our free time, sue me.

Ben chuckles "I bet" he says "but I guess she was also really exhausted, so I won't hold this against her" he shrugs.

"How long have you been friends?" I ask him, I know that since they were little but I don't know precisely.

"We went to kindergarten together, ever since then" he says "Also it helped that our parents were best friends" he tells me, I didn't know that.

"So you were there during everything" I say more to myself than him.

He nods "Yeah" he says "I was there during all of it" he elaborates.

"When we went to middle school or High school, you know she was a freshman when things happened with her mom I mean it was the summer before freshman year" he says "then things happened with her father" he starts then stops, we both know what he means.

"The hardest thing you have to do is watching someone you love getting hurt repeatedly when you can't do anything, and the thing is I could, I could've helped her but I had no idea I could, and when I realized she said it was only one more year" he says "I could have helped her" he whispers looking down at Danielle.

I'm not good with human empathy nor do I want to give it to someone who could've helped Danielle when I couldn't and chose not to, but that's not the case is it? He was just a kid, I'm an adult and I still didn't do anything it's not that I'm no better it's that I'm so much worse.

"No Ben, you couldn't" I tell him, he looks at me tears filled grey eyes looking into mine "You did help her, you were there, after everything you were still there, you did the thing she asked you to do, you respected her choice" I say.

He shakes his head "I failed her" he says, I swallow "I did too" I tell him.

"This guilt you are feeling Ben, it's not just you who it's eating alive" I say "I made her a promise and I will ruin that son of a bitch once she is in Harvard, but until then? I let her suffer for 8 months after I found out, how do you think I feel every time I kiss her, or look at her or say the most beautiful things about her or to her, knowing I failed her and I keep failing her until that coward isn't dealt with?" I say, I've never said this out loud, my stomach is in knots, the guilt is stronger than ever.

Ben scoots closer "You can't think like that Valentina- wait I can call you Valentina right?" he ask me, I chuckle "Yes you can" he lets out a breath "Oh thank god, this would've been so awkward if not" he says and I laugh.

Ben's face turns serious "You know you saved her" he tells me "Before you she was all studying, which sure is the same now but not that bad, also you should've seen her before you after the beatings, she was broken for weeks, and after that another beating came, she looked like she was dead inside" he says, honestly I'm glad I didn't know her back then because I may have a murder charge on my hand if I did.

"After you" he starts "She is alive, his father is still abusive but she doesn't feel it as much because you are there to catch her when she falls, you Valentina you didn't fail her, you saved her" he says "I swear to you I didn't know if she would survive this 4 years, but thanks to you she didn't just survive she walked through it" he says.