Doors open.

MATTHEOS POV- So many times

I think I'll forever be drowning in guilt.

I don't think ill ever find a second of relief. And if I do, I know the next wave will be moments behind to hit me.

Guilt for following my father, for listening, doing whatever he says.

Guilt, for hurting yn.

Really hurting her.

Because as she laid on my bed, even in sleep, she looked broken.

And I should be worried, panicked even about the man I just killed. The man who always helped me when needed, but no. I was too consumed by the guilt of breaking her.

Its been hours, since it all happened, and sleep never felt like an option. Not when I could be this close to her. To see her, be in the same room as her without her crying, or not speaking a word. I wanted to just... be here.

I mentally felt her starting to wake, and I knew what was going to follow.

I felt her trying to open her eyelids, trying to wiggle her arms and legs.

I mentally, shut it off.

I won't lie, I even poked around in her head a little.

Draco was the one who told her. He also exposed Theo being a death eater, and Enzo being next in line. Another crack in her, I'll make him pay for it later.

But, I also felt her panic, I felt how quick she ran to me, heard how she still defended my name to them.

All that mattered was that, she still loved me.

I don't know if I should be grateful, or sad.

But somehow, she loved me.

Her wiggling grew, so I slipped back into her mind, "Relax."

I didn't want her to wake up and start swinging, or yelling. She would be disoriented, so I warned her, "I'm going to allow you to move now, but you have to promise me you won't scream, or fight, or yell."

I nearly chuckled at her next thought, how could she trust me.

"Because you have to trust me."

She struggled to sit up, I could feel her brain racing with questions, and her body slowly returning to her.

I just admired her from the corner of my room. I didn't want to startle her by being right in her face.

I slowly walked closer, taking caution. I knew she was confused, I knew she was hurt, and I knew once she remembered everything that happened last night, shed be mad.

But I needed to see, what she remembered.

What she was willing to tell.

"Before I say anything else," I broke the silence, "I want you to tell me what you were doing on the tower last night."

I watched her face as she realized she had been asleep over night, that she had been here, overnight.

I kept my voice low and even, lacking any inflection or emotion, just incase.

"I," she tried to start, but seemed to have choked, "I wanted to stop you."

"You didn't." I whispered.

I seen it all written across her face. I didn't even have to read her thoughts. She was ashamed. She felt betrayed. She was angry she couldn't do anything.

She was going to think differently of me.

"How did you know, I was there? Where it was happened?" I stepped closer.