Doors open.

THEOS POV- you would be my girl.

The next few weeks were harder than usual.

I was used to knowing I couldn't be with her, I found peace with it.

But knowing she was with him.

Or wanted to be with him.

It was like a fresh cut.

That someone kept throwing salt in.

Worst part was still seeing her everyday. Her still texting, and calling and hanging out. In a group, or just us. I couldn't help but look at her differently.

On top of seeing her with perfect, caring I could do no wrong, Anthony. He was everything I wasn't - the good guy. The one she deserved. The one who would treat her like gold, which already made me want to pitch myself.

But knowing that who she really wanted was Mattheo.

It was a whole different kind of hurt.

A pain that pierced my very soul. Every time I saw her, I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy and resentment.

She was always so close, always within my reach, in my very hands, but she was never really mine.

I felt like I was stuck in a never-ending cycle of heartache.

That I know I did to myself.

The worst part was, I couldn't even pretend to be okay with it anymore. Before, I had accepted that we wouldn't be together, and I had moved on. But now, imagining her with him, knowing she wanted him... it was like a constant reminder of what could never be.

It also didn't help the fact that she distanced me since the whole phone situation.

Completely pushed me to the side. Acting like it really was a problem that I was on top of her.

When we both knew it wasn't.

It was only a problem because of who seen.

Which of course, he had to run and go tell Pansy that she "walking in on us about to do it."

In my wildest dreams was that fucking true.

But now that caused Pansy to not only curse me out, block me for a week, but ignore my messages.

I have needs too.

Luckily for me, she quickly got over it.

She found herself to my room in the middle of the night about a week later.

Three days before my birthday, which usually is a happy time for me. One of the rare times in my life where I'm actually excited.

This year, I wanted to pitch my self from the tower and call it a day.

But at two o'clock in the morning, hearing that little knock, I couldn't help but hope it was yn.

I always hoped it was yn.

And when I opened the door to see Pansy, it took everything in me not to close it again.

"Yes, Parkinson?" I let out a deep breath, trying not to look too upset.

"I miss you. Theo." She barely whispered. Standing in my doorway, in her pajamas.

Her hair was a mess, her eyes were puffy from crying, and her voice was shaking. I could see the vulnerability in her eyes, the desperation to be near me.

It was a look I'd always hoped I seen in someone else's face.

I felt a pang of guilt, of regret. I was stringing her along, since the very beginning. I care for her of course, shes one of my closest friends.