Doors open.

MATTHEOS POV- Its him.

To look at her face right now physically hurt.

She looked lost, like she was hurt, like she was confused.

Like she hadn't just shred the last ounce of sanity I was holding onto.

She revealed her darkest, inner fears.

It just happen to me be.

And fuck, I couldn't blame her.

I was a piece of shit to her. I hurt her, bad. But it was never my intention to make her afraid of me.

Am I a monster?

Am I that fucked up?

"Mattheo, I didn't mean too-"

"You didn't do anything, yn." I cut her off, I couldn't hear her voice right now,"Thats what the boggart does. It exposes your inner most fear.. and yours is me."

She looked as if she tried to say something, but shut her mouth and backed up a step.

Must be the fear.

"You've always been afraid of me," I'd come to the realization, "Afraid of what I might do to you, of what I might become."

Thats why she never wanted me to follow my father. She knew what I would become, she had every right to be scared.

"Thats not true, Matt-"

"I never meant to hurt you, yn." she needed to know, "I have hated myself every single day, since we returned to school. Your the last person on earth I would ever want to hurt. I had to-"

"Mattheo, please!"

"I had to push you away!" I couldn't stop my voice from cracking, and I tried, "I needed to protect you. I needed you far from me, so he wouldn't hurt you! It was the only way I knew how! If he would've done anything- I am so fucking sorry!" I had to turn around, "I'm your worst fucking fear, and its all my fault!"

"Matt, just let-"

Why was she still trying?!

"I am so fucking in love with you! I still am, and that is why I did what I did, yn!" I couldn't stop my self from shouting, I couldn't keep it in anymore, "You have no idea how badly it killed me to put you through everything, all the nights I spent wanting to run to you! To be with you! I would do it again, and again for your safety! I did it because I fucking love you, and I rather have you fucking hate my guts than anything worse!"

Even if she feared me, even if she wanted nothing to do with me, to never look at me again, she needed to know I did it for her. I did it all for her.

That late at night when I was falling apart, her arms were the only place I could think of.

That she was the only thing stopping that curse from swallowing me whole.

"MATTHEO!" She finally scrammed loud enough to stop my rambling, I snapped my neck in her direction. "Stop saying that! YOU are not my worst fear! Losing you is my worst fear! Didn't you see?!"

What?

No.

It was me.

On her birthday.

I was there.

"I wasn't afraid when you appeared, I was afraid when I saw you bleeding! When you were dying in front of me and I didn't know how to help you! I was terrified I'd lost you! That is my biggest fear Mattheo! Losing you!" She screamed, throwing her hands up, like she was giving up.