ETB #1: Lost in Blank Stares

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

I really should have conducted a background check on his entire ancestry.

Hindi naman ako selosong tao, pero natural lang na ganoon ang reaksyon ko kung, matapos niyang makipaghalikan sa akin, ay agad niyang inaatupag ang ibang babae. Mali lang na hindi ko inalam kung sino 'yon. I really should have asked first before acting childishly—wala na nga akong karapatan, mali-mali pa ang pinagseselosan ko.

Pero hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin maiproseso nang maayos na nag-confess siya sa akin. Hinatid niya lang ako sa apartment ng gabing iyon. I was too awkward because he kept teasing me the whole time, kaya hindi ko na nabanggit ang ginawa niyang pag-amin.

It was so overwhelming that my mother had to pinch me to knock some sense into me.

"Tumabi ka nga riyan, kanina ka pa nakaharang sa daan," sabi ni Mommy, sabay hila sa akin papunta sa gilid.

Napatingin ako sa ginang na nagtutulak rin ng cart at mabilis na humingi ng tawad. Kanina pa pala ako parang baliw na ngumingiti habang hinihintay kung anong susunod na ilalagay ni Mommy sa cart.

"Ano ba ang iniisip mo diyan? Kulang na lang ng spotlight, mukha ka nang pang-cover ng toothpaste sa laki ng ngiti mo!"

I furrowed my brows at her exaggerated description.

"Mom, I believe I have the right to express myself, and according to the 1987 Philippine Constitution—" Hindi na ako pinatapos ni Mommy at hinampas na ako ng cup noodles.

"Manang-mana ka sa tatay mong naglalapag ng batas. Nakakabwiset, kaaway! Parang ipapakulong ako pag kinontra ko pa siya," reklamo niya habang nakakunot ang noo.

I laughed as we moved to another aisle. Our maids usually do our groceries, but she asked me today so we could bond. Nagiging mas busy na ako sa kolehiyo kaya madalang na kaming magkwentuhan ni Mommy. She cleared her schedule today just so we could spend time together.

"You're almost in third year na. Saan ka pala mag-i-internship?"

I paused for a moment, the memory of my conversation with Dad fresh in my mind. My dad had been adamant about looking into the firms he had recommended-places with established connections that could open doors for me in the future. But I also wanted to explore the possibility of working with that corporate law office, the one offering internships that aligned with my accountancy major.

It felt like a fork in the road, and I wasn't sure which path would be the right one for me.

Akala ko mahirap kapag wala kang pagpipilian, pero mahirap din pala kung marami kang pagpipilian.

"Well, I'm still weighing my options," I replied, trying to sound casual. "Baka mag-apply ako sa mga firms na sinabi ni Dad, but I'm also looking into that corporate law office."

My mom raised an eyebrow, sensing my uncertainty. "Mamili ka ng mabuti, anak. Siguraduhin mong gusto mo 'yang pipiliin mo. Mahirap pasukin ang isang bagay na hindi mo gusto. Mas mabuti na yung kahit nakakapagod, pero gusto mo yung ginagawa mo, na-eenjoy mo siya," she smiled. "Kaysa naman gawin mo ang internship na hindi mo nga ma-enjoy, lagi ka pang stress."

I nodded, taking in my mom's words.

"I get it, Mom. I just want to make sure I'm making the right choice," I said quietly, staring at the shelves in front of me.

She reached over and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You'll figure it out, anak. Just trust yourself. And remember, there's no rush. You have time to explore your options and see which one feels right."

The pressure of making the right choice still lingered, but I felt a little more at ease knowing I had time to decide.

Ako muna ang pina-tingin ni Mommy sa mga listahan para kumuha pa ng ibang pagkain, hahanap daw muna siya ng CR para umihi.