Locked up and Locked In

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You growned as you neared the glass

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You growned as you neared the glass.

It wasn't unusual that you would see Agent in the slammer, but you were getting so fucking tired of it.

He violated his parole again. Failing to report to the parole officer, skipping parole visits and they found alcohol and Marijuana in his system.

You couldn't even stand looking at him in the baggy orange jump suit and his dreads all over his head and face.

His eyes dark with little expression, but once he saw you they brightened.

" Look at me."

You rolled your eyes and looked at him with the most screwed up look on your face.

" You know damn well you too beautiful to be looking like that."

" Save me the bullshit, Agent. I told you to stop thinking you were a free man. They are watching you and you still fucking up." You gritted your teeth.

" I'm sorry, ma. Look, I didn't think it was that serious. They only giving me a month to be in here-

" How the fuck do you-

The officer right behind him cleared his throat, warning you about being too loud.

" How the fuck do you not think this is serious?" You whispered this time, " you were assigned a PO. You gotta do drops every other day, dummy."

Agent breathed out through his nose heavily. The only girl he ever loved, he was hurting. Stay in and out of jail. He stressed you out so bad that you miscarried twice.

You stay with him, for what? Because you loved him? No, you didn't know why.

Love ain't got shit to do with what he was putting you through and you hated feeling like you were just a person he could step all over.

" Baby, when I get out we gonna have that big wedding you wanted-

" Your mama asked about you. She don't even know if she want you around her anymore. What happened to you? The Agent that loved and cared for everyone and kept to himself? Why did you go to Atlanta knowing there was nothing but trouble?" Your eyes watered with tears.

" I'm still the same Agent. I get caught up in shit, I try to give us a better life, and I try to stay doing the right thing. But it's like...something always calls me back to the fucked up shit." His eyes were now sincere and puppy like.

His eyes always got to you, but this time you were standing on business and not trying to give in to his attempt to fuck you over.

" You don't think about me? Your parents or even yourself when you do shit?"

Agent hesitated and shook his head no.

Your heart was broken.

The man that sat there before you, you didn't know anymore. He was telling you that he was lost and it was nothing more you could do.

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