We meet at Dawn

Chapter one

I was 13 the first time I was sexually assaulted. A boy from my school pushed me in a corner and placed his dirty finger on my body. It's been 3 years since then, but I can still feel his breath on my neck. I can still feel his hand grabbing my ass. I can still hear him telling me to shut up and let him feel me. I can still remember the panic in my blood, paralyzing me from moving or doing anything about it. I'll never get over how my whole body was shaking of fear, how my tears streamed down my cheeks while I was screaming inside my head. Begging it to be over. I was 13 back then, I had barely got any boobs nor my first period. He never placed another finger on me after that but seeing him in school was a living nightmare. And every time he saw me, he'd give me a little smile. Like he was proud over himself. 

By the time I had just turned 16, I got raped. I was walking home from my best friends' place when a man pulled over his car and dragged me in to it. He stripped me bare naked while I was fighting for my life. He smelled like whiskey and cigars, his beard was filled with food crumbs. He raped me for what felt like hours, then tossed me and my belongings out of the car. I never told a soul of that night. When I got home, I got into the shower trying to get rid of his scent, trying to scrub of every part of him that was on me. I was bruised on my neck, my hands, hell I was bruised everywhere. But my memory was a blur. He didn't have a face, he wasn't even a person. All he was, was a nightmare. 

I got rid of the clothes and cried myself to sleep. My parents were too busy working that they didn't even notice how I went from happy to someone who was just hanging on by a thread. For school the next day I wore a black turtleneck covered with a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. After that my grades went down and I never saw my friends anymore. I was just a ghost walking amongst the living. Uncapable to feel anything other than emptiness. And even though I never told anyone, I was pissed that no one noticed that something had happened to me. That man took every last part of me and ripped my soul to shreds. I started to hurt myself, I burned myself and took my dad's razor blades to cut myself. That was the only way I could feel something at all. And when summer came I was still in my room, hiding from reality. 

Not wanting to do anything, because faking my mood was worse than showing how broken I was. But when I finally went outside to smoke in my hiding space in the woods behind my house, I stumbled across a boy. Someone I've never seen before. He was at least 3 years older than me, his hair was jet black and his skin pale like a winter day. He was wearing a navy blue hoodie that said "Alaska" and a pair of black jeans. I was just about to turn back home when he saw me. He jumped a little, like I had scared him. He rose up and walked closer to me, and I could feel the blood in my veins go cold. He held up a lighter, and that's when I realized I was holding a cigarette in between my lips, he went closer and lit it. Then he walked back and sat on the fallen tree. I took a seat next to him, and for minutes we said nothing, we just sat there. Smoking in silence, and for the first time in months I actually liked someone's company. He was way prettier up close, his eyes were mesmerizing. One was dark blue like the ocean and the other was a honey colored brown in the sun. His jawline was sharp and his whole face was just perfect.

Then he looked at me and gave me a vague smile. He held out his hand in a friendly way, I took it and he said. "I'm Cameron, but you can call me Cam." His voice was deep and had a rasp like he just had woken up, his handshake was firm, but not too tight. "I'm Dawn" his eyes lit up and he cracked a light laugh. "Dawn? Well nice to meet you. I just moved here from Alaska" he pointed to the house across mine, and I couldn't help but smile, I could easily have guessed that he was from there, considered that he was wearing a hoodie from there. "Yeah, I can see that." I said and pointed to his hoodie, he buried his head behind his hands and laughed even more. We talked a little more and then walked home with each other. "See you at dawn?" He said, and I found it incredibly funny, "sure Alaska." I waved him goodbye and went inside, and something in me felt warm and familiar. Like a piece I had lost was starting to come back. Talking to Cam felt easy, and comfortable. Or maybe I just liked that someone noticed me and allowed me to be quiet. I went straight up to my room and jumped on to the bed. I hadn't had a real conversation with anyone for months without feeling suffocated, but tonight I felt calm. I felt like I could breathe again, and I was feeling quite okay actually.