We meet at Dawn

Chapter twenty nine - Dawn

Asher walk me up to my door, giving me a gentle smile. And I cannot not notice the hurt look in his eyes. And I feel quilt, Quilty for making him stand up for me. Making him care for me, after how shitty I've been.
When I look at him, I feel safe, I feel a little less broken. But if he knew the real me, would she still care the way he does?

''Asher?''

''Yes, Dawn?''

''Will you hold me?'' I whispered, looking down at my own two feet. Too afraid to look him in the eye. He said nothing, instead he embraced me in his arms. Not just hugging me, but hugging my soul.
I tried to hold my tears back, but the harder I
fought them. The harder it got, so I allowed myself to cry into his arms. And he let me, he held me tight and stroke my back as my tears soaked his shirt. I looked up at him, still sheading a tear. He gently wiped them away and kissed my forehead. I smiled trough the tears, opening the door. And as I headed inside, I noticed that he
wasn't moving, so I looked over my shoulder too see what was stopping him.
''Are you coming?''

''Do you want me too?'' his voice was unsteady, like he had to force the words to come. I reached out my hand and gave him a reassuring nod. He took my hand and came inside with me. ''I'm just going to wash my face, feel like home.'' then I rushed off to the bathroom, and what I saw wasn't particularly pretty. My mascara was
everywhere, I looked horrible. I cleaned up and brushed my teeth, then threw on some deodorant before heading back out to the Livingroom. And there he was, cleaning away some dirty plates I'd left from earlier.
Then I realized that Cam still had some stuff here, so I grabbed a trash bag and collected all of his shit. When I had done that, I decided to add some glitter Sam had left from a week ago and glue into it. And I didn't stop there, my food waste? Straight down the trash bag too. I opened
the door and tossed it out on the ground, then I sent him one last tex.

-You're shit is outside the apartment. Don't bother to contact me again, I hope you get hit in the face by a bus.

Then I blocked him. I rubbed off my hands and twirled around, and Asher was giving me the pity smile. I gave him a hug and took his hand as I started walking to the bedroom. ''Do you need anything? Is there anything I can do?'' I could've sworn that I heard a little laugh from him. ''I'm fine, should I sleep on the couch?''

''No! I-I mean, you don't have too.'' God I'm an embarrassment. However, Asher didn't seem to mind staying the night. Instead, he pulled of his shirt and pants and snuggled down under the blanket.
I may have been naked Infront of him before, but
I still can't help but to blush as I undress. I don't look at him, but I can feel how his emerald eyes are watching my every move. When I'm finally undressed, I let out the light and crawl under the blanket, not sure what to do with myself. Do I snuggle up with him? Or do I just turn my back against him?
Well, good thing I didn't have to decide for myself. Asher pulls me into his arms and strokes my back, sending goosebumps down my spine. I can't help but to smile a little against his chest, and I can't but help feeling safe right here with him.

I woke up to the smell of coffee and something amazing, I stretched my back ready for a new day with new Oppurtunites. I threw on an over-sized t-shirt and slowly heading towards the kitchen. My foot was acing but I tried my best not to put any weight on it. When I got to the kitchen, I saw Asher making pancakes that smelled
like heaven. ''Goodmorning sleepy head.'' he said as he flipped the pancake over.

''Morning'' I felt my checks blush at seeing him here, in my kitchen. Wearing my apron, and his suit-pants. What a sight for sore eyes. I took a seat by the table, and was served fresh brewed coffee, pancakes with maple syrup and fresh berries. I could get used to this. I want to get used to this.

''So, how's work? Well, how's everything really?'' Asher said as he took the set-in front of me, sipping his coffee. ''Good, work is good. Life? Been worse... Been better. You?'' he took a long paus, like he was trying to puzzle together what to say. ''I'm still a professor, kind of boring. I must admit. Life? Life is everything but easy, but now?'' he chuckled a little. ''Right now, it's
prefect.'' Perfect? In what way, I do not dare to ask. ''I'm sorry I was a burden last night.''
''Not at all, Dawn I'll help anytime. And may I say that man? Do not deserve you.''
Maybe Cam no longer is the boy I once knew, but we had our moments. Sure, it wasn't always easy, but when it was. I truly enjoyed being with him. But non the less, the bad times did win at the end. Over weight the good once, and I am sick of my bad luck.

''Maybe, but it's over. It's been over for a while now.'' I could tell by the way his shoulders moved, I could tell he was bothered by something. ''Dawn, have you ever been in love?'' I almost chocked on my coffee, why this question? What am I to say, and why? It's like I can touch the words, and they feel heavy. Have I? Have I not? ''I used to think I was. But now I've come to the conclusion that I don't know what love is. But I think of it as something heavy and painful, but also as vibrant and joyful.'' I paused, looking down in my almost empty cup. ''I think that only the strong minded are suited for love. And that if you know of love, you should try it. I've heard it's a great deal.'' I didn't dare to look into his eyes, didn't dare too see the unspoken words he might want to say to my response. ''I've felt it, love so to say. And it truly is painful. I never seem to know what to say, or when.'' he laughed a little, like he
thought that the words he said was amusing. ''I'm not good at feelings, but with you I want to be good at them.''
pause the time, pause everything. I am falling trough time, my heart has stopped and my lungs emptied from air. I have fallen and I don't
know how to get up, maybe I'm hearing things. Maybe it's all a dream? How bitter sweet it would've been.
''What do you mean?'' ''I mean that I- I...'' another long breath, my hands shaking just by the thought of what he might say. ''I think of you
night and day, you haunt me in my dreams. And there has never been a day I've never longed for you. There has never been a day where you haven't passed my mind. And I need you, the way I need oxygen.'' he smiled a little as he dragged his hands across his face. ''I can't live without you, my heart would not surive it Dawn. I
have always been yours.'' My body is shaking, I am gasping for air. Every cell in my body is on fire, and I can't speak. My voice don't work and I can't help but too smile.
I smile with my whole body, and I don't care that I may look like a fool. But I laugh, like what he is saying can't be true. I'm not the fortunet one, I never have been. And I don't mean to laugh, but I can't help myself from doing it. I laugh so hard it hurts, so hard that I can feel the tears make their way down my face.
I laugh until I don't. Until I too must speak my mind. ''I used to hate you for making me love you. But I was afraid, afraid to say it. I have almost gone mad from being parted from you. And I will gladly take your heart, but only if you'll take mine.''