Royal Speed | Leclerc & Verstappen

59 | royalty

-/- Monaco 2021 - off-season -/-

Christmas was over, but we not really celebrated it though. I had been away from home anyway, visiting some relatives while helping from afar with the preparation for the funeral. Cathy even flew in a couple of days ago already, helping my mother and Arthur as their relationship was official now.

I was happy for them but at the same moment I was afraid of my own, the way it would now go after my father's death, the rules and expectations. It all was a lot but to be honest I didn't had much time in the last week to think about it.

Max luckily understood that and was also with his family in the Netherlands for Christmas, sending me pictures of him, Luca and Lio in funny pajamas or silly selfies of himself, trying to cheer me up a bit.

But with the thought in the back of my mind that I needed to talk to him, I couldn't smile, couldn't even call him over video, every time searching for a white lie, even though I never wanted to do that.

Today I would see him again, the first time actually after leaving Abu Dhabi, after the night we had slept with each other, god this was also a thing that was currently on my mind. Not that I had the need to repeat it, hell not in the current situation.

But it had been such a major rule break and I felt constantly bad about it, scared that my father would find out. My father who was now dead.

"You need anything else Charles?" Davide asked after he had helped me with my suit for today.

"No thanks, please send him up if he arrives." was all I returned, feeling how my hands started shaking even at the thought of him, not even able to say his name.

All my emotions and feelings, every little part in my body was mingled and confused, most of the time just numb, waiting for the pain and darkness to disappear. I had even spoken to my therapist twice since his death, the one I had since I almost killed myself.

She was always there for me, just a call away and even coming over if I needed her, but today I had to manage it alone. But as I knew how many emotions would rush through me once I would see all the other royals, our family, I wanted to see Max before all of this.

Of course the world knew about our relationship, so it was kinda clear that he had to be here, even though I would have not invited him if it was up to me. Don't get me wrong, I loved this man, more than anything else, but I was scared, now even more.

"He's here, I'll go pick him up." my assistant said as we stood next to the window where we could look down into the yard, a black car driving in before it stopped right at the big stairs.

While Davide walked out of my room I continued looking down, seeing how our driver opened Max's car door, even bowed for him, aware that he would soon be a royal too. At least that's what he expects, the reality was a completely different thing.

The Dutchman firstly looked confused though before he put on his cute smile and thanked him, even helping with his suitcase and the garment bags. A hot feeling of attraction rushed through me as I once again noticed, how well his style had developed.

While a year ago he would just walk around in some jeans and basic shirts, he now almost every day wore dress pants together with button up shirts or normal ones but really high quality. Gosh he looked amazing, I thought while I still looked down, seeing how he brushed through his hair.