Royal Speed | Leclerc & Verstappen

45 | by your side

-/- Monaco 2021 - race break -/-

Slowly I made one cut, then a second, a third. The blood was running out of my wrist but I felt no pain, on the contrary, all the pain inside my heart faded away, disappeared. I was feeling so free and finally able to escape the voices inside me.

The blood dropped onto my beige shirt, quickly turning the fabric red, but I didn't care. Also my vision got more and more blurry and I felt myself fading away, slowly losing consciousness. The cold material of the tile digging into my skin once again was the only thing I noticed as it was already black in front of my eyes.

The last image in front of my eyes, inside my head, was from Max. Him smiling at me, looking up with that puffy red cheeks and his cute smile after he had put his team shirt over my body. God I loved this man more than my own life.

But knowing that he suffered because of me, because of the fact that we had met, that we had started texting, hell, that we had started dating. We fell in love but I couldn't do this, too scared I would hurt him or he would hurt me.

Stay with me liefje.

His voice was the last thing that my mind offered me before everything went black and I lost consciousness. I felt my head falling to the side, hitting the stone wall, slowly collapsing completely.

...

The next thing I felt was pain. My head hurt and I felt a pressure on my left wrist. My eyes were still too heavy to open but my head was laying on something soft, like a pillow. It was quiet and when I finally managed to blink a few times, I saw that I was laying in a dimmed room.

The only light was coming through the window, from the moon outside and under the door from the corridor. I needed another few minutes to fully open my eyes, realizing that I was in the hospital, a room that I had only seen once, as my appendix had been removed.

I then looked above me, from where a liquid was running through a tube right into my arm. A big bandage was around my left wrist and my breathing quickend, remembering how I ended here. This clearly wasn't heaven so someone had found me.

A quiet grumble let me shrug together and my head snapped to the other side of the room, seeing a person curled up in an arm chair, sleeping. The Dutchman looked exhausted, completely done.

In the light of the moon I saw some reflections of his cheek, wet spots, probably tears. Immediately the water shot into my own eyes and I had to bite my bottom lip, why had I done that, why had I put him in so much pain.

"Max." I breathed, not intended to wake him up, his name just rolling over my lips.

Quietly I started crying, still too loud as the Dutchman started moving in the chair, yawning after some moments. He stretched, but when his eyes met mine, they widened and he jumped up.

"Charles, my prince." he breathed, quickly coming over where he knelt down next to my bed, taking my hand into his, "God, you're okay, I was so scared."

His head was only millimeters away from mine so I could see the fear in his deep blue eyes, slowly calming down. My head that was still laying on the pillow was sideways so I could face him, which gave Max the perfect opportunity to lay his other hand on my cheek.

"Gosh, my love, why did you do that, you scared me." he whispered, carefully stroking over my face and brushing through my hair.

"I... I... I told my father and he was so angry and you, Arthur, nobody had time for me and I had the feeling that everybody was turning away from me." I cried, biting on my bottom lip in fear.