Star Trek// Spock x OC -> I'm ready

31// New Vulcan

Novas POV

The more I think about it, the more I understand why I showed Spock see-buntuk. I never share that side of me, my visions. Nakunone. Not ever. And Spock, the way he handled it. They way he takes care of me...

That's the most vulnerable I've been in a long time with anyone. It felt good with him. Then he wants to be married. I just can't believe it. Me of all people to be this lucky.... But I wouldn't be surprised if he changed his mind, I left so many things unsaid with so little time at that moment. I know I need to tell him soon... Oh goodness I'm meeting his father too!! This might be a disaster.

Does he truly want to be with someone like me? I don't know if he knows what's he's getting into. And I'm so disappointed in myself because no matter how many times he reassures me, there is still this undeniable doubt I have. My heart longs for connection and safety but is terrified of being broken beyond repair... of breaking him beyond repair...Scared that I will hurt this person I love so deeply... oh no... I love him...

But if I tell him I love him, he won't be able to let me go once I tell him the whole truth. It's hard to communicate things when there is no solution. I don't want to reveal this doubt to him, he's trying so hard, and I know he's going to take it to heart if I express these doubts of mine. I just need more time. Which I feel we may not have...

Nakunone

"Chief?" Spock's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. We were riding on the shuttle to New Vulcan. I look up seeing Kirk and Spock look at me expectingly.

"Oh yes?" I nod at them.

"Did Venar send any message back?" Kirk asks me.

"Yes he did, he will meet us at the shuttle landing port." I say with a nod. Kirk nods before leaning back and relaxing.

"Welp, I can get a nice little nap in." Kirk closes his eyes.

I hum a laugh out as I play with my fingers in my lap, too much on my mind to relax. I look up to Spock to find he was already looking at me, with so much care in his eyes. I look away with a smile. I feel his hand go on top of mine. Calming my nerves a little. I intertwine our fingers and place my other hand on top of his.

No words were spoken, just the occasional look. I can only hope he doesn't feel this fear growing inside me. I can't think about us right now, I need to focus on the mission.

After another 20 minutes on the shuttle we landed.

"Captain." Spock says to Kirk who was still sound asleep. I look at Spock and giggle.

"It's gonna take more than that to wake him up." I approach him placing my hand on his cheek. I transfer my alertness to him which instantly awakes him, I regret this slightly because he woke up with a gasp. Almost panicked. "Captain we've landed." I nod with a smile. I place a hand on his shoulder to calm him. I might've transferred more than my alertness at that moment mistakenly.

"Oh right." Kirk mutters standing up.

Spock glances at me, a slight look of concern. I again smile and nod, trying my best to reassure that I'm fine. We all began walking out of the shuttle.

While looking at my device Spock's hand rests on the small of my back, guiding me as I typed my message. Suddenly it was taken away. I subconsciously frown at this.

"Wheres Venar?" Captain asks.

"He should be here soon." I mutter, messaging Venar that we arrived. I look up and see this vast desert plane along with buildings and other structures; the sun beautifully kissed the horizon while a second smaller sun laid in the sky.