In Your Dreams

21 || Phoebe Summers

"I'm having a hard time deciding," A groan came out of my lips. "I know we've already talked about this earlier in the party, but still, I'm having second thoughts."

"Why would you have any second thoughts?"

I shrugged my shoulders while I purse my lips just to prevent myself from biting and leaving bite wounds on my lip. Closing my eyes and counter to ten, I take a deep breath until I finally open my eyes and stare at who I'm talking. "We're talking about joining Emmett's band. The sole person I would rather not have any relation with. If I join his band, I might lose my sanity and every last patience I have before I commit any atrocities." I mutter all those as if there's nothing wrong with it since it all sounded so reasonable.

I think my ancestor will find it understandable if I suddenly committed arson. Luckily, there's a gas station near the campus, I can quickly obtain any kerosene. But not now, I haven't lost my sanity just yet. It's about to, once I stepped on their band.

"I think you're being dramatic here, Phoebe. Like, have, you even considered that you and Emmett might be in good terms while you're in his band?" Kevin replied to me with his deep and rough voice. His eyes stare down at my soul without even trying to blink.

A hand of mine traveled quickly to cover my chest while a shocked expression form on my face. My lower jaw had even fallen slightly down as I stare at Kevin, "Are you seriously telling me I'm being dramatic?"

"Yes," I mimic a deep and young voice as a placement to my inanimate stuffed Koala named Kevin. I even try to move his body around in time with my witty reply to myself.

Yeah, I'm definitely losing my mind here. I'm already talking to my stuffed animal, while in my pajamas. What other signs are there to know someone had lost their mind?

I puff my cheeks as I comb gently on Kevin's fluffy fur, "Have I lost my mind on something so little?" Instead of mimicking a voice, I simply grab the back of Kevin's head and made him nod at my question. With a sigh, I pull my stuffed Koala towards me and embrace it against my chest as I lie down on my bed. "I don't know what to do. I mean, it'll be fun to be in a band, and I'll be able to improve my social health by performing in front of a crowd." A frustrated groan came out of me yet again, "But Emmett is there."

I let go of Kevin, which sent him rolling to the other side of the bed. My whole body lie straight, my back on the bed while I stare at the ceiling of my bedroom. Both my arms and legs are stretched apart, making me look like a pathetic starfish. Even the starfish will feel frustrated on my dilemma.

It's already been three hours since the party had ended. Luckily, I haven't encountered Emmett again after that "competition" Alecks had assembled between us. So the rest of the evening was trying to enjoy the party with my friends. But how can I even enjoy it when my inner dilemma kept pushing itself in front of my mind? My friend had tried to reassure me so many times about what I would do, but my mind still found a way to doubt my decision.

Initially, I really intended to join the band. Regardless of Emmett being there, I want to join the band and show him what I could do. It'll be satisfying to see his surprised face after I show him what I got. But something deep inside of me held up an argument that I couldn't counter. The possibility of me falling in love towards Emmett Larkin. It's bad enough that I found his dream counterpart romantic, but seeing him in a daily basis, hanging out with him every second of the way. I'm terrified I might develop any emotions towards the bastard. I can settle on simply feeling annoyed and irritated by his existence alone. However, I don't think I'll be able to accept the fact that I might fall for him.

I flail my other hand around, trying to find where Kevin had rolled off to. Once I felt his familiar small paws, I pull him towards me and cuddle him, the top of his head just below my chin. I buried my lips on his head, inhaling his flowery scent as I stare blankly at the ceiling.