In Your Dreams

58 || Emmett Larkin

Surprisingly, none of this felt hard or heavy. Opening up to Phoebe about my past was... relieving and natural. I'd expected my words to trip over themselves-stuttering like a fucking idiot, tangled in hesitation and nervousness. But they flowed out naturally, as if my mind had already decided Phoebe was the person I could share this with. Maybe it was those dreams-the ones where we talked about everything and nothing-that had made it feel so easy, so natural, even in real life. It trained my mind to act this natural around her despite it only being just a dream.

Now, though, it was her turn. Whether she opened up to me or kept her walls firmly in place, that choice was hers. All I could do was make it clear I cared. And that I'm here for her no matter what. Even if it means to kept pretending and hiding the fact that I've cared for her longer than she can imagine.

"It's alright if you don't tell me, Phoebe," I said, taking a step closer. My hand found her shoulder, my grip light but firm enough to anchor her in the moment. She turned, meeting my gaze with something flickering in her eyes-fear? Nervousness? I couldn't tell, but it didn't feel right. Whatever that was, it tightened my chest hard enough that it's starting to feel heavy.

"You don't have to force yourself if you're not ready," I added softly. Even flashing a small smile along each corners of my lips.

For a long moment, she was silent, her eyes darting back to the horizon as if searching for an answer in the distant glow of city lights. I silently watch her eyes roam around, watching as different city lights flicker around.

"It's not that I'm ready..." she muttered, her voice heavy, carrying a weight that made my chest tighten.

Instead of pressing her, I leaned against the half-wall beside her, letting my gaze follow hers. "Take your time," I said quietly. "I'll be here, admiring the night sky with you."

Her breath hitched, a sound so faint I almost thought I imagined it. But when I snuck a glance her way, she looked calm-perfectly composed, the soft glow of the moonlight brushing against her skin.

And for a moment, I forgot how to breathe.

When she finally turned to face me, I snapped my head forward, clearing my throat in a poor attempt to cover the fact I'd been admiring her. I just hope she hadn't noticed that since I will look like an idiot.

"What are you planning?" she asked, tilting her head with suspicion shining in her eyes.

Well, at least she hadn't noticed me admiring. But she must have thought I was planning something mischievous. That tone in her voice, she always used that whenever she caught me red-handed.

I shook my head, doing my best to keep the grin threatening to break free in check. "Nothing, I swear." But the grin broke free and that alone didn't help my case here. Even though I'm telling the truth, she will now realize that I might be lying.

"Promise?" she pressed, arms crossing over her chest as she nodded toward the half-wall beside us.

Nodding solemnly, I raised a finger and traced a small cross over my heart. "Cross my heart and hope to die, I'm not planning anything."

Her skeptical gaze lingered, unyielding. "Even if I ask you to jump off the edge?" she teased, pouting dramatically.

I blinked at her, unsure whether to laugh or play along. "If it means that much to you..." I said with mock seriousness. Deciding to play along, I step toward the half-wall as if to climb it.

Her reaction was instant. She grabbed my arm, pulling me back with surprising force that I almost lost my balance. "I was kidding, you lunatic!" she exclaimed, her grip firm but warm against my skin.