Another Chance

Don't Waste My Time

Dario POV

A short while later she rang the doorbell. I took a deep breath before answering it.
Opening it and seeing her, my heart caught in my throat. I didn't even know what to say. I wasn't expecting her to actually come over to my place. She said she would, but I just wasn't sure since she was always all over the place. Shit good thing I straightened up. 

"Hey girl."

"Hey."

"Come on in."

I stepped aside and let her in. She walked passed me. I caught the smell of her perfume. I closed my eyes briefly taking it in. She smelled and looked so good. I closed the door behind her and locked it. She had on a sweat suit outfit and sneakers with her hair straightened pulled into a long ponytail. This was always the one thing that turned me on about her. She kept it simple when she didn't have an event. 

"So what's up?" I asked. I didn't move from the doorway right away. I was unsure how this was going to play out. Would I need to ask her to leave? Would I have the guts to do that? Would I fold under the pressure of being near her? But just the fact that she came to me, came here spoke volumes. I was so nervous.

She took her sneakers off at the door. I took note that her ass seemed a little thicker from when I last saw her.

"Can we sit and talk please?" She asked looking up at me with her big, beautiful dark brown eyes.

"Yeah."

I took her hand leading her to the couch. We sat down facing each other. She got comfortable with a pillow on her lap. We both went to let go, but then she held onto my hand.

"What's up Janet?"

"I just really wanted to see you and talk."

"Well you're here and I'm here. What do you want to talk about?"

"I'm gonna get straight to the point. Darius what happened with us?"

"You know what happened. You were all over the place with everything."

"It was so much going on," she said.

"I don't know if things ever really fell in place for us after the tour. Well really before the tour ended. I felt like it did, but now I'm not so sure J.

"Maybe it really didn't on my end. I admit that."

"Let's be real you didn't try hard enough," I said then continued. "I think when we were on tour we were in a bubble and the reality hadn't hit us yet. It was fun and exciting, but eventually we were going to have to deal with outside issues. That main issue being your ex along with some other things."

"I understand what you're saying, but I feel like it's more than that. If we're meant to be none of that will matter."

"Janet..."

"No, Darius it doesn't matter. You told me you miss me. Is that still true?"

"Yes Janet."

"I believe we can make this work. I know you've said in the past that you didn't do long distance relationships. I'm willing to do whatever and go wherever as long as you are."

"I just don't think it's that simple. I don't know if we can make this work."

"We can if we both try and want it."

"How I know you gonna hold me down when I need you too. You just pushed me away when you were going through all that stuff. Even when I tried being there you wouldn't let me. You didn't want it as much as I did." She looked crestfallen at my words.

"But I have been trying and you aren't giving me a chance. I tried talking with you when Eissa was in the hospital."

"Well talk J. I'm here."

"Listen...I want to apologize for my words for what I said to you that night when I was in the hospital. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry for not responding to your text right away or answering your calls. I'm also sorry for what I said to you when Eissa was in the hospital."

"Why Janet? Why would you say those things knowing how I felt about you? Why did you ignore me?" Was I finally getting to her? Would she finally tell me how she really felt about me and what had happened that was still affecting her now.

"I'm so used to everyone always using me. Wissam... He abused me and...he would rape me. Even when I was pregnant. It was so traumatic...I was so scared I would lose my baby with how he treated me. I...I'm still learning to talk about it to this day and work through it. I escaped with help from my brother and close friends. I had to deal with a lot of public scrutiny because of it. People thought I only wanted his money. I never wanted Wissam's money. That's why I have trust and commitment issues. All my relationships I feel like I give everything and get nothing in return. Renee used to hit me. He cheated and tried to turn it around and make it seem like I was crazy and imagining it. He would get high and use our chef to get him to buy him drugs. Our chef actually tried to sue me even though it was Rene. I was so depressed during that time and I didn't have anyone. Even so called friends who knew what was going on would just turn away. With Jermaine he was good for me to get me out. He initially showed me things I had never seen or experienced. But he ended up being like the rest. He cheated. Even when he told he never would and he said that he loved me."

"Holy shit J."

"I finally got comfortable with myself after dealing with Wissam. It had only been me and Eissa for a while. Plus you have to remember I've already been married three times. I didn't want to do that again. I had my doubts about our relationship. Part because of our age difference, but if we are even mentally, emotionally, and spiritually on the same level. But I know that we are."

"Wait what? You know that we are?"

"Yes, we are. It took me a while to get it."

"Janet I don't know if this is going to work with us. We're wasting each others time. I think you were right. I'm sorry you came over here and I wasted your time." I couldn't do this again with her. It was a mistake. I couldn't believe her after everything that happened.

"What? Darius..." she got choked up, but continued on. "I'm so caught up in you and I just want to be yours. You make me so happy. So far you're the only man who has gone this far for me. I'm not gonna lie that scared me. I've been let down so much in past relationships and taken for granted and abused verbally physically and mentally. I didn't want to lose myself again. This scares me Darius." She explained sniffling. "I'm so in love with you. I'm sorry for not letting you know."

She suddenly pulled me to her and wrapping her arms around my neck pulling me to her hugging me.

"Please give us a chance babe," she said. "I know that I haven't been quick to tell you. It's no ones fault, but mine. My heart has been yours this whole time," she gushed catching me off-guard with what she was saying.

"Janet...." I pulled back some.

"Do you still love me? You said "felt" past tense. Did I completely lose you? Do you still want to be with me?" tears welling up in her eyes threatening to flow down her face.

I sighed deeply rubbing my face. "Janet I can't keep doing this back and forth. How do I know you for real? I can't. I don't want to stand in your way of you getting what you need. I want you to be happy even if it's not with me. It's obvious you don't need it from me. I may not be that one that can give you that, what you need or want."

"But you're not Darius. I swear. You're not standing in my way. You are what I need. You are what Eissa needs. He loves spending time with you and he knows you'll be there. And that's big for him, for us. I love you." Tears were flowing as she put her head down.

"Janet I don't know...I don't know if this is gonna work. We shouldn't waste anymore of each other's time. Maybe you should go."

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