Surviving High School.

chap.83

I spend the remaining two days before my due date in anticipation of what will happen. Since going to the hospital 3 days ago, I have prepared my baby bag over and over, I've changed outfits like a hundred times and nothing seems right. MaZulu has been coming to see me and we've had time to talk about this wedge that formed between us. Right now it is 7 am and I've been struggling to go back to sleep. My baby is as nervous as I am...I think. I'm making this assumption based on the fact that she's been kicking me for the past 5 hours regardless of all the songs I've sang to her and the books I've read. 

 "Yandi, are you up yet?" MaZulu knocks on the door before coming in. I raise my head out from the blankets and greet her. She comes to sit on the foot of the bed. "How are you feeling today?" I take a deep breath and listen to my body. There are minimal pains here and there, nothing bad. "I feel nervous. I don't think I'm ready to have a child Ma. Oh gosh what was I thinking keeping this pregnancy." I feel a panic attack coming fast. "Hey! No negative thoughts today Nana. We are calling upon positive energy for the day and the birth of my first grandchild." I smile at her and take deep breaths, feeling my heartbeat slow down and the feeling of nausea going down. 

"Okay. Positive thoughts only." I sit up and feel some discomfort in my lower back. "Are you good?" I nod and clear my throat. "Just feeling a pressure on my bladder and lower back." She nods, "that's just indication of the baby dropping lower. Your body is preparing for labor." I laugh lightly. "I hope she doesn't have her father's head." MaZulu is puzzled for a moment. "I can understand that but looking at the both of you, ngathi nguwe onenhloko enkulu. (it looks like you're the one with the big head.)" 

I am stunned. "Hawu MaZet!" She laughs out loud and I follow. We sit in silence then her phone rings. "Hello?" She listens for a bit. "Yebo Baba." She looks at me as she's listening. "Okay, let me get to planning dinner then." I am a bit curious to know what the conversation is about. "I love you too Sthandwa sami." The call ends and MaZulu exhales deeply. "MaZulu are you okay?" She nods, mumbling a bit. "Uhm....mmm...your father just wanted to check up on you and also tell you that Ntando and his wife requested to come over for dinner tonight." 

I nod and sigh. "Okay, there's nothing I can say or do. This is your house and your rules." She sighs, "Yandisokuhle don't be like that." I chuckle lightly. "Like what Ma?" She looks at me for a while. "Unreasonable." I nod. "Okay I will not be unreasonable. May I please get some assistance out of bed, I really want to pee." She stands and comes to help me. "Thank you." I waddle to the bathroom and I'm quick to relieve myself. Might as well take a bath.  I prepare the bath water and get in the tub when the water is halfway full in the tub. I sink down to the bottom and feel as my chest burns from the lack of oxygen. 

I allow myself to get back up when I feel like passing out. When I rise from the water, I take deep controlled breaths and sit back in the tub, feeling my heart beat painfully against my chest. I wash my body, making sure to take some time on my belly. I finish and drain the water before cleaning the tub with much difficulty. When I get to my room, I am tempted to just climb back in bed and sleep but I decide against it and instead throw on one of my maternity dressed. I wear my slippers and leave my room to go get breakfast. I ready somewhere that exercise will help with labor so I prepare to walk out in the garden. 

The day passes by and I feel more cramps, stronger and more frequent but my water doesn't break. It's around four thirty right now and I'm craving some KFC dunked wings. I text uBhuti and ask him to get me 10 wings when he passes by KFC. 'I am already down the road, come outside and we'll get them now.' I sigh and ask my baby brothers to help me off the couch. "Where are you going Yandi?" I turn back to MaZulu. "Bhuti is taking me to buy strawberries, we are all out." She shouts something out but I can't hear it, I'm already halfway out the door. I am quick to open the door to the back seat.